PART 1

ISLAM: THE STRAIGHT DOPE

A Self-styled Expert Explains Everything

Are Arab terrorists out to get us? What’s their beef? What exactly is gomg on here? Since the ‘War OnTerror’ now seems to be a permanent part of life I thought it worthwhile to do some investigating. All I had at the time were the usual stereotypes about Muslims: how they’re said to abuse women, how they bow down to pray five times a day, the wonderful paradise awaiting them when they die. I acquired several popular books on the subject of Islam and its founder Muhammad, and dug in. The following is s brief summary of what I’ve learned so far.

  

A TIGER BY THE TAIL

Muhammad didn’t realize what he was getting into. All he wanted was a little law and order, some stability so he could conduct business unmolested. Instead, he created a new faith from scratch that by the end of his 23-year prophethood was well on its way to becoming one of the world’s major religions. There are those who might see this accomplishment as something akin to unleashing a new, particularly resistant strain of bubonic plague on the world. That’s a little harsh. We have to consider conditions that prevailed in Arabia circa 600 AD..



THE SETTING

The Roman Empire which had civilized a big part of the world never quite masde it to Arabia. The closest it ever got was to Arabia’s western edge. In Muhammad’s day a Christianized remnant called the Byzantine Empire still hung on there. Across the border in Arabia where Muhammad lived life was in chaos. There was essentially no rule of law. The population consisted primarily of individual tribes scattered over the landscape, each with its own leader. The various tribes were constantly at war with each other, battling for survival. Not a great place to raise kids.

Or to run a business. Muhammad worked for a trading company headquartered in the town of Mecca. The company’s caravans while out on the road always were under threat of attack. Muhammad spent a lot of time thinking about the situation. On his days off he’d go out to a cave near town and brood. He knew God, or Allah as they called him there, had once sent a messenger preaching a better way of life. Something about the messenger had irritated the Roman rulers so they killed him. A bit of the message had rubbed off though. Those folks over in Byzantium still abided by it, not very well but sure a lot better than here in Arabia. Muhammad wished there could be some way get his own people to import some of that love-thy-neighbor philosophy.

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

Imagine Muhammad’s surprise when one day the Archangel Gabriel suddenly appeared before him in his cave. It seems that Allah had been working on a plan to re-introduce Christ’s message, just as Muhammad had been yearning for. And this time, by golly, he was going to make it stick. That certainly was good news to Muhammad. He felt better right away. But that was just the beginning. Gabriel went on to inform Muhammad that he, Muhammad, had been hand-picked to help out. Muhammad in fact would become Allah’s personal messenger. His job would be to make Allah’s wishes known to the people.

Had Allah read Muhammad’s mind and picked him because he knew Muhammad was inclined that way? Or had Allah planted the idea in Muhammad’s head himself, to soften him up for the announcement when it came. Maybe he’d been grooming Muhammad all his life. That could acount for a number of bizarre incidents, recalled later, that happened in Muhammad’s earlier years. (Another possibility is that Muhammad just made the whole thing up: no Angel Gabriel, no Allah. This idea is expanded on later; for now we’ll stick to the official story.)

It’s a litle easier to understand why Allah might have chosen the city of Mecca as the place to make the big revelation. Mecca had long had a reputation as an extremely holy spot. For generations Arab tribesmen of various religious persuasions had been journeying to Mecca, for the chance to worship their dieties at the Kaaba, that big black box in the center ot town. It’s possible that Allah had been considering using pilgrims like those as a good way to spread his word.



We can conjecture all we want but of course there’s no way of ever knowing the facts. What we do have is Muhammad’s own testimony about how he felt on learning of the new job. He wasn’t at all sure he could handle it. He told Gabriel he was just a simple man, no education. No way could he consider himself qualified to speak for The Supreme Being. Gabriel assured him he’d do just fine. Gabriel would tell Muhammad what to say. All Muhammad had to do was repeat what he heard.

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