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Wife died and I know people mean well, but just hearing "she's in a better place", or " you'll see her again" just make me kinda cringe. After I got my composure and sense of humor back, I say "well then its a good thing I'm not religious, cause Sandy was very very jealous and I'm really not looking forward to her meeting me at the pearlly gates and saying, "so, who the fuck was that bitch you were with." The looks on their faces when I spit that jewel out is priceless and there is nothing they can say. Any body else have a comeback for these religious platitudes?

FarmerFritz52 3 July 21
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13 comments

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0

I find people are genuinely incompetent in dealing with death. I support saying I m sorry its surely difficult and i have you and yours in my thoughts.. Its honest not religious and sincere.. When my son died my mother in law whom finished third grad informed me he died because GOD knew i would kill him so he took him away........ I just hope your ok and are processing your grief... respectfully anne

That is horrible. I hope you don't have a relationship with this person.

1

So sorry for your loss. My husband died 5 years ago. Suicide. And when the religious nuts inevitably start in on me.. he's in a better place ..

"According to your god, he's in hell, so..."

I've never had someone not immediately turn and walk away. It's priceless.

2

I can totally relate. My husband died at age 45 and I heard all of these platitudes at the funeral.
When his aunts told me, "it's god's will" I told them, "then god is a fuckin' asshole."

i wish you the best.

JenM Level 4 July 23, 2018

I hate when they say that!

0

Very sorry for your loss.
When I was newly widowed, I was still really young, 19.
Depending upon who it was offering the platitudes, sometimes, I just
kept my derision to myself.
Now, I sincerely doubt if I could.

When my uncle died a few years back, I was really short with anyone who offered any of that religious bullshit to me. There are a few family members who are no longer speaking to me over it. Which is FINE.
There are others who dismissed it as "she's just upset".
I don't speak to them. LOL

0

I have lived a long time and have lost those I cared very deeply about. What I have learned is that the sense of loss never completely goes away. The pain will lessen over time and the warm, wonderful memories will remain.

The other thing I have learned that it is important to let those we care about know that we care about them and appreciate the.

For those who give those standard, unthinking comments I basically ignore them. Thank them but do not really hear them.

1

I'm sorry for your loss. Most people just want to say something that is comforting and socially acceptable. If it comes from a genuine place then a thank you is what I give.

Betty Level 8 July 22, 2018
0

I applaud those who pass. I say they "escaped."

4

Sorry for your loss and the inability of others to understand that death isn't the entrance fee to another life/world.
@zblaze posted a link to atheist pig discussing how people devalue this life by suggesting that we "go somewhere else" after this one. I could probably be used as a comeback too.

3

Good answer. It must stop a lot of them in their tracks. I hate funerals and one of my wives died. My goal one of these days is to be late for my own funeral.

2

I was not raised like that and better yet.... I didn't grew up be like that. They can pray over me if they want. I can take it and move on. No comebacks other than Okay.

I agree. Live and let live and do no harm. 🙂

@Betty How my companion in life will be remembered and loved after gone... is not up to me... it is up to them. My sister didn't forced me to come to her husband mass in NYC even if I was in the city... I stayed in my mom's apartment with the chihuahuas. I don't miss him less... I don't honor him less... I simply do it differently.

@GipsyOfNewSpain

There is nothing wrong with different as long as there is no regret and no harm is done.

There is an old saying...To thine own self, be true. I was taught that as a child and I try to live by it to the best of my ability. Some people like that and some don't and that's okay. 🙂

@Betty That's Okay.

1

I was thinking about this subject earlier and my conclusion i'd rather they be alive which is much better for everyone concerned. But I'm loving your answer !!!

Simon1 Level 7 July 22, 2018
2

"well I agree that it was a pretty nice grave, but I don't know if it's really better. I mean our home has much less dirt in it most days."

8

I'm not sure comebacks are necessary.. I mean when someone has gone through the ringer with a traumatic life changing event like you have..people who are very close to you should know your feelings on the subject..and the others are people that don't know or understand your outlook...they are clueless as to what to say..and default to the only thing they know..Christian or other religious platitudes..not to upset you or make things worse.

Forgive them. Say nothing..bite your lip. Smile to yourself..you have your sense of humour back..a great thing to fall back on. Sorry for your loss by the way..hope things are getting a little easier for you.

I got tired of doing that. I want them to understand how stupid it sounds.

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