So very true, It's painful to give and not get back. I choose to look at the good things that person/those people brought to my life. Many have moved into and out of my life, and I appreciate them all. The lesson you've learned is making you a better person. It seems you have very much to offer---to the right person. Wishing you the best.

I would like to thank you all. I appreciate your wisdom and words of advice, at least I know I'm not alone now.

The reality is that people have their own struggles and at least here in the US it has been my experience that most people just don't know how to be present for others when they are suffering. They want to fix it, and can't, and then they want YOU to fix it, so they're not uncomfortable.

You are right, you do find out who your real, deeply committed friends are when you're going through difficult times. And sometimes the answer is: none of them.

And it isn't just limited to that, either. I had what I thought was a pretty close friend that I did a lot of things with, and that evaporated when I moved away. Zero effort on his part. I've dropped in when visiting back in the old 'hood and he's been distracted and aloof. Since then I've matched his level of effort and now he's offended at that.

This stuff does get old and it is discouraging but the good news is that I'm increasingly comfortable in my own skin and find my company sufficient anymore. I think this is a critical skill as you age. My surviving two brothers are 10 and 15 years older than me, respectively, my parents are gone, a lot of my family is still religious, my surviving child lives hundreds of miles away and I get nothing out of that relationship or the grandchildren unless it's effort I put forth unilaterally. Put that all together and it's clear I'm not going to die surrounded by adoring, reminiscing, grateful family and friends. And that just has to be okay.

Been there, know how you feel. Take care of yourself first.

Yes, you’ve got it. Get through it, reassess ‘your friends,’ then streamline your existence

Life is indeed a roller coaster, that's not just a cliché.... Just hang on tight

i feel the same at times, i'm always available to help others. it seems to me that others never are. it maybe that we are not giving a chance to some people to get close.
i've recently found someone who i feel is there for me. i'm hopeful.
you'll find someone, or someones that will be there for you eventually.

Yup..cut loose the toxic people from your life and move on..you'll feel much happier for it!

By the way, this website has a bit of a learning curve.

For members who are open to dating, you will see that certain thumbnails and profiles have a heart symbol on them with a percentage. This identifies which members are open to dating, and the percent shows approximately how compatible you are with them. If you click the heart symbol on the top of their profile, you can see how it is determined.

You can improve your score in general by answering all the profile questions and writing a bio, which also earns you website points.

Commenting on posts and writing your own earns more points. At level two you can private message people, and at level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

The website uses profile algorithms to find member matches, so the more details one includes, the better the match.

Many people prefer to see a written profile talking about interests, hobbies, and backgrounds that can be quickly perused to find compatible partners.

In case you didn't know yet, to find members near you, click on the "Browse" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Click on the "Discuss" button, then "Nearby" to find members near you also.
Or click on the "About" button at the top left of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Points are now being given to level 3+ members who chat. You can see chat rooms on the group main page or at [agnostic.com].