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I wonder; is it possible to learn what can cause people to fall out of love with a significant other?

NiceFarm 5 Aug 6
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34 comments (26 - 34)

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Attraction fatigue?

JeffB Level 6 Aug 6, 2018
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It's interesting to read these comments. I haven't really fallen out of love with anyone. Sometimes people die, and sometimes you need to move on for all sorts of reasons. The reason for the end of my last relationship was that I found out that he was someone completely different than the person that he had pretended to be.

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I think the same question can be asked as to why people fall IN love... love isn’t a tangible thing, you can’t see it or hold it or even explain it to anyone else when you feel it. So what is it? Some singer laments that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy... I suppose scientifically we just start to ignore the attractive force of a partner’s pheremones and mentally focus more on their flaws and faults.

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Probably boredom.

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Death. When they're gone, they're gone and not coming back. Celebrate the relationship. Remember the good times then move on. Fall in love again.

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Apathy is my best guess. We have familiarity that breeds either contempt or apathy which I think is 75% of the time

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From what I understand, emotions are caused by chemicals released in/by the brain. For someone to “fall out of love,” I imagine that the brain would stop releasing the chemical that makes us feel love or happiness. It could go so far as to release a different chemical that creates a different emotion, such as anger or discontent.

Your viewpoint is quite interesting.

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Sure it's possible, fall in love and when you fall out of love you will know why.

lerlo Level 8 Aug 6, 2018

Do you? lol

@NiceFarm Well my conclusion was that I was never in love in the first place. I remember asking my brother, who had been married, while I was engaged, "how do you know if you're in love?" His answer, "if you have to ask, you aren't. That said my ex was an alcoholic and I told her I wouldnt put up wit that--so that can be one reason.

@lerlo My experience was similar. I asked my sister and she said "I wouldn't think you would have to ask." I know I was very inexperienced in interpreting my life. I fell out of love when I grew into myself and also learned that I had not gotten to know him in any deep way.

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Sure, but it would be on a couple by couple basis. Some elements might be capable of being generalized across a broad sample, but not all. Good luck with this.

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