I have a master's degree
I was born to my parents, in an apartment, in Tacoma, WA. The same apartment I'd spend the rest of my childhood living in. I moved out shortly after 19. The apartment was run down, and the walls were covered in mold, and the wallpaper peeled on every exterior wall. The carpets were filthy. The linoleum floor peeled, and cracked. We had mice, a lot, when I was growing up. I'd find their shit in my dresser drawer, mixed with my clothes. Once I woke up to a rat, not a mouse, on the end of my bed.
We were poor, just like most families in my neighborhood. The city I was raised in is the most dangerous city in Washington State. We lovingly refer to it as, "Tacompton." Drive by shootings. Hookers down on South Tacoma Way, 2 blocks from my parents apartment. Drug house directly across the street, and on the next block.
We didn't own a car for much of my childhood. It was either broken, or we couldn't afford to fix it; later sending it to the junkyard around the time I was in the 6th grade. We never owned a car, again. We began using the bus to grocery shop, and take our laundry to the laundromat.
My father has a gambling addiction, and my mother has schizophrenia. It was a hell of a thing, growing up with the type of neglect I endured. I nearly died as an infant from something called Failure to Thrive. I'm sure any of my fellow medical colleagues will understand just how serious that is, and just how overt the neglect was at that time. My father would leave me alone with my schizophrenic mother, as an infant, while he went to work all day. She provided zero care. If you've never seen videos of what happens to a baby when they are denied human interaction, you're welcome to check it out, but it's not for the faint of heart. He would tell me about coming home from work and finding me in my crib. Bottle empty, or soured, covered in my own excrement after working to get my feces away from my already severely blistered skin. You're probably wondering, "why would he even admit to that?" Because he has narcissistic personality disorder also, and he loves to feel he's a saint. Blaming my mother for the neglect after my grandmother told me about my nearly dying.... well that just makes sense, when it comes to him.
So, infancy was pretty rough. But it didn't end there. My parents were poor, and couldn't afford childcare...... got it. But, what about my hair growing up? It's simple enough to brush a child's hair. Once again, overt neglect.
Once a year I would be taken to a salon to have them comb the birds nests from my hair. Sometimes the naps would get as large as a softball. Giant balls of tangled hair. And my father would complain about the cost of the salon, but he sure did have the money for those pull tabs.
I suffered much more abuse and neglect than what I've listed and described here. I could write a book on my life that would shock people. And probably break many a heart.
I say all of this, to say.....
Poverty. That's my greatest fear. I'm overcoming it step by step.
Today, in spite of all the things I endured growing up, I graduated with my master's degree in nutrition and dietetics, and completed my dietetic internship.
God did NOT help me. I did. I worked so very hard to achieve this. This was all me. Because growing up in a religious household, I was told to pray. And I did, like a good little girl. And it didn't stop any of the abuse. I always knew it wasn't real, deep down.
I did this. I overcame. I persisted.
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130 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My mother believed in the power of God - believed in it absolutely, thought God would protect her from all of life's troubles if she just had faith. I watched her decline in her latter years, loose all her money and end up in a neighborhood like the one you describe, where gun shots rang out on a regular basis.
I had left home long before that and it was the shame of my life was that I was not able to help her during those years. But the lesson for me was that neither did the God she believed in. Still she died believing in him as strongly as ever, believing that the misery she suffered was somehow his will, perhaps a test of her worthiness or a punishment for her sins.
I never forgot that madness; it still haunts me today.
DES32
Level 4
Aug 12, 2018
1
@nutrition_nerd Wow, autoimmune disease can be really tough, but it sounds like you are managing it well. Also probably inherited, at least to some degree, isn't it? Almost everything is! I have to deal with high blood pressure and arthritis, both handed down from previous generations. But I also got many good things; so, no complaints!
@nutrition_nerd Thanks, I think I've heard of that. I'll check it out.
@nutrition_nerd Autoimmune disease , wouldn't that be likely due to having been born with it due to receiving it pre-natel drug exposure via your parents?
@nutrition_nerd FFS
Sad to hear you were subject to such abuse and neglect, and happy that you are working past those deficites, congratulations.
TroyBarber64
Level 7
Aug 11, 2018
1
@nutrition_nerd if I may spin some humor on this, living in Tacoma is abuse all in itself 
(I'm from North Kitsap)...
@nutrition_nerd it's rather humorous in Kitsap, we all hate each other: Poulsbo and Kingston are always at odds (except when we're not); most of North Kitsap begrudgingly tolerates Central Kitsap (they have a shopping mall), we all hate Bremerton, and Port Orchard is a "south of Bremerton Poulsbo-wannabe"; to top all of that - all the rest of Kitsap despises Bainbridge Island more than we hate each other, lol
Amazing and inspiring story. Two questions, sort of: 1) How'd you do it? (Were you a naturally good student? Were you able to get a scholarship? Did a change in your living conditions have to wait until you were able to move out, or did it occur before then? 2) What emotional challenges did you have to overcome or do you still have from the lack of human interaction you described?
Rossy92
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
1
@nutrition_nerd All the more inspiring then, but also sobering (the lingering issues). Thank you for sharing that. I wish you the best.
The world may never know, and often, not care. Thank you for sharing this, it helps put humanity in perspective. And yes, where was ..god? Same place it’s always been, in the imagination of inept humans.
You will appreciate the seemingly simplest of things as few in our culture do, perhaps the only upside.. You will relate to those many can’t. You will be a resource among appreciative friends. You’ve proven yourself a survivor, and someone worthy will earn your love.
Varn
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
3
Varn:
@nutrition_nerd As with most of us on this site.. we’ve definitely got to look harder than most. Or, let them find you, and continue to progress in life. ...and, get out of the PNW (pending subduction zone quake).. Get with a government program promoting nutrition in Appalachia, for example. With your life experience and skills, seems a perfect fit. And, any government program surviving this presidential administration is likely to last beyond it..
@nutrition_nerd The really good ones are few and far between . Don't wait to see if Prince Charming is going to show up . Be who you are and know that you don't need them . They're just icing on the cake . or from another perspective , Men are just deserts .
"What does not kills us,makes us stronger" You should have a sign made up for other people to see,of your accomplishments.
Mike1947
Level 7
Aug 11, 2018
2
Now(if you have not already),find a Man who matches your drive,who will encourage you to even greater accomplishments.
@nutrition_nerd So very smart ! Took me awhile to come to pretty much the same conclusions . You are amazing !
Well done... You should be giving motivational talks in schools. You're an inspiration.
Veldoran
Level 6
Aug 11, 2018
3
Go on The Moth radio show.
@nutrition_nerd I'm serious... far too often people are too scared, or weak, or don't have the support, or the drive... to make it through things that have been done to them... How often do you hear abusers say that they do things because that's what they were taught... TRUE strength of character shines through when a person doesn't just see what's wrong... but understands what's wrong and works to ensure they come out the other side as a better person. I think you've done great.
Congratulations . I have the same fear as well as becoming homeless. It drove me to save and earn
Bigwavedave
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
0
@nutrition_nerd don't ever give up
I sincerely hope that someday , you'll find all the love you missed out on , while growing up . The real thing , not just words . You deserve it .
Cast1es
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
2
@nutrition_nerd So very true !
My story could mirror yours in many respects.
azzow2
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
0
@nutrition_nerd I use it as a reference and make myself better. Every day I pass the positive aspect of my negative experience on to my kids so that they can have a mentally healthy life.
Wow what a story, i remember as a child and young man tacoma was always a very bad place to live, but spokane is way worse now, grew up here in spokane, our whole city is turned into a pile of you know what. anyways, I am a diabetic myself, server nephropathy in feet and legs, i have tried the vegan diets only to make my sugars even more worse. Your story should be told though to the world. so that people cn learn from it. just saying.
cobra3282000
Level 6
Aug 11, 2018
1
@nutrition_nerd that is why i am mostly on a meat diet. which seems to work for me, atleast my own good organ in my body that works great is my heart. knock on wood.
Congratulations and you did it yourself. Your way. Be proud.
t1nick
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
1
@nutrition_nerd No one take that from you. This accomplishment is large and you should be proud.
Fantastic job! You should be very proud of yourself! I was the first person in my family to earn a masters. My family was poor and neither of my parents graduated from high school, but I would not have been able to get any degree with my mom's support. I cannot imagine getting a degree without any support.
LEPeff
Level 8
Aug 13, 2018
2
@nutrition_nerd I'm proud of you for keep up with it! You have my admiration!
Overcoming adversity. I salute you as I am from a similar background although not nearly as challenging.
May I wish you every success; the fears of your upbringing will drive you to never allow your family to suffer the same.
CarlosEsmi
Level 5
Aug 13, 2018
2
@nutrition_nerd when and if you have a family it will!
Best wishes...
Wow. You are awesome. I grew up so different. Although we lived in a very poor area and I had many friends as a child who grew up similar to you so I can't say that I'm shocked or don't understand completely. I just never experienced that kind of life myself. All I can say is that most of my childhood friends are either dead now or carrying on the legacy of their parents. You are truly a very strong person with a lot of determination and a strong mind. Good for you.
Lewdsurfer
Level 5
Aug 20, 2018
0
@nutrition_nerd You're welcome.
What a strong woman to overcome your background to reach a goal! You somehow got your mind to look past your life and set your own path...what a moving and inspiring story! Congrats and may your life take a different turn ...one that you want...now and always...thanks for sharing...you have already given back what you did not get...hope and kindness...I see a bright future for you!
thinktwice
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
2
Congratulations on digging yourself out of a hole (and not falling into a religious trap along the way)!
It is also great that you recognize your need for emotional recovery and are getting help sooner rather than later. I hope that your parents have also been able to get help.
itsmedammit
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
2
(raises a glass in the lady's direction)
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Aug 11, 2018
2
You might not have anyone in your life to tell you how proud they are of you (and I hope that you do). So in case you don't, even though I just found out about you today through this post, I am very very proud of you. I wish all the best things for you from now on, and I know you will continue to work for everything you want.
zeuser
Level 9
Aug 11, 2018
2
I want to say You Fucking Rock!, but gratuitous profanity is disingenuous.
CallMeDave
Level 8
Aug 11, 2018
1
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