I would have thought friendship involved seeking connection and common cause with others for mutual support and benefit, but I have to confess that on the whole, I'm no longer so sure it's a reliable source of that. The older I get, the less I understand people. And I suppose the feeling's mutual.

Personally I find that "friendships" work best when the objectives are modest, the mood light, and expectations minimal. That way when someone behaves inexplicably you don't feel the need to invest much in finding an explanation or motivation. Apart from my wife, my "friends" are all fungible commodities. And when they treat me as such, I'm not bothered by it.

I've been surprised to come to the conclusion that my actual social needs at this point in my life are extremely modest. My wife and I still try to make connections as a couple because I'm trying to support her more significant needs in that area. We have found some real success of late connecting with my daughter and son in law and grandchildren, so there's that. But casual friendships in general? Hard to find those without subterranian cross currents and undertows created by their hidden agendas.

As a social being most of us seek out others who share our thoughts and likes. They turn on these friends when a difference of opinion occurs or when they feel offended by some action. They meet with these friends to share their views and feel good about it.

The friends I'm close to mean the world to me. More than some family members. They hear me, see me, share with me, help me feel connected, and the feeling is mutual. Also, the stronger the friendship, the more freedom there is to be ourselves and also - very important - the willingness and ability to work through problems and disagreements.

Because we are herd animals. And while we can belong to many different herds, we still behave with herd mentality. Jealousy and greed (females or males, grass -- not that kind of grass or money) cause companions to disappear. Anything outside our specific herd has always been evil.

To share adventures make each other laugh to create anticipation basically to invoke underlying emotions.

It is comforting for some of us to associate with people who think similarly. It can be reassuring that we are "fitting into society," wherein, imo, human interaction is just a natural inclination. I like to get together with (my very few) friends to bounce ideas off them, and to help me stay within certain parameters in my thinking; i.e., not go over the edge, to help maintain rationality within the appropriate context.

And, there's the simple notion of worth and value. I like to think I enrich my friends' lives. You can be relatively certain, I think, when that does/does not happen by the ones you keep and the ones who go away.

When I was working, I had lots of friends; not so much now. Likewise, once I retired in 2009, my friends changed, gradually, to the people I met at the dog park, of all places. What did we all have in common? Dogs, of course. I had a great social life for a few years with those folks, until my last relationship went sour. Now, on the other side of all that, and since I'm not paired up, it all went away.

Being alone is paradoxical in so many ways, at least for me. I do like having friends to associate with on a regular basis; and I enjoyed helping them out, and getting help from them when one of us needed it. I enjoyed tremendously, my weekly racquetball games with one particularly bright and accomplished guy I knew. And having somewhat deep conversations, at times, was very gratifying. Single life, however, can also mean you don't have some of those social obligations that can at times feel burdensome.

It's funny, I was thinking peripherally about this very same thing this morning. Thanks for the post, it has helped me flesh out my thinking on this. And probably bored you silly.

Too many questions at once...my head is spinning! Friendships are essential for the health and wellbeing of humankind. We are pack animals and American Psychologist Abraham Maslow listed in his Heirarchy of Human Needs the 5 levels we strive to achieve.....survival, safety,social, esteem and fulfilment ( in descending order of importance). My advice to you is don’t neglect friendships, loneliness is the scourge of modern society and can rapidly lead to mental health and sometimes even physical health breakdown. Repair any friendships and reach out, you don’t have to live in each other’s pockets but neither should you feel you don’t need them in your life. If you are feeling as low as you seem you may need to consult a doctor as it sounds like you may be suffering from some form of depressive illness.

Friendship is a way to connect with other humans. Life is all about the connections we make. People come in and out of our lives, but it is the time we spend together that matters.