13 12

Fuck. I've started this post a half a dozen times.

I just went on a (strictly) dating site for the first time, and I'm already sick of it. Every profile looks the same, and the ones that show an ounce of creativity... It just feels like a line. I mean, it's all a stupid game, right? They even have the same photos; I'm on a boat! I'm at a stadium! I caught a fish! News flash: I need a reason to care.

I've never really dated before. I've always jumped in the deep end, with a couple of starter marriages in my early twenties, and then 17 years with my third. I don't know how it's done. Especially now, as a middle-aged single mom. And I guess I'm feeling a little bit disappointed and a little bit scared. Or maybe more than just a little bit of those things. And I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Thanks for listening, everybody. I'm not really looking for advice here. I'll figure it out. Maybe online dating just isn't my thing.

Nottheonlyone 7 Aug 21

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


Dating sites are a joke imho. Better to just meet some one by happenstance. If you expect to meet the love of your life there, you're probably wrong. Yes, I'm sure it has happened in the past, but the commercials are the exception rather than the rule. For me, I meet women when I am not expecting anything, and is completely random.

I'm not looking for the love of my life. Don't even believe in it. I'm just looking to meet people and have some fun.

@Nottheonlyone try tinder? You said dating...

@TheGreatShadow Yeah, but I'm not looking for one night stands, either. That's the impression I have of Tinder, anyway.


I bailed on the last dating site I was on. I'm here exclusively and I've met some awesome people. Maybe yours and my Prince Charmings are here. This is not a bad place to find out. ☺

I don't believe in Prince Charming. And even if I did, I wouldn't want him. Happily ever after is not a thing. I'm just looking for the icing, I bring my own cake. ?


you, @Nottheonlyone strike me as way to real, interesting, thoughtful, smart and just plain groovy for regular dating sites. they're awfully watered down and you ain't.

I appreciate the compliment, but even so, I'm aware that I don't look like much on paper. Maybe I should quote you in my profile? ?

@Nottheonlyone you are more than welcome to quote me, I'm not kidding. some people, several of us here. are way too real for a regular dating site. but I wish you all the best in whatever your search. ?


I got married young and was married for 23 years, dated a little bit, and then went into another serious relationship.

I took about six months to myself to figure out what I wanted to do, and I'm just now on dating sites, and it is a sh*tshow.

I choose to look at it like I'm Jane Goodall observing mostly hairless apes grope around in the dark trying to find each other 😉


So the creative ones are a "line"....and the others aren't creative. Yah. This will work out.

When you see a creative profile and recognize it from a different site, yeah, it feels like you're being duped. I'm not looking for perfection, just connection. Online may not be my best option, that's all I'm saying.


Life is what you make of it, no better or no worse. These people who you think are posting the very same things on dating sites are simple trying to relate. They are relating in that we are all basically the same from the same mold, the human mold like it or not!

Do not believe what? That they exist, or that they are being truthful, or they are being deceiving?

  1. Do not believe anything.
  2. See #1

You are correct, online dating is a bottomless abyss.
The womens profiles aren't any better. I have lost track of how many bathroom selfies, feet on a lounge chair at the beach, and party girl straw cowboy hat photos I have seen.


I am much too old to know anything about dating sites, and am barely able to function on the internet, so thank goodness I don’t need to navigate them! My advice would be to go and join some groups locally, doing some activity or hobby. An Art class or if you sing a choir, or whatever your particular tastes draw you towards. Make sure they include both male and female members of course!


I've never used a dating site other than this one (which very much isn't a dating site at all!) and I definitely feel it's not for me. Maybe I'm not alone among people who were born before the internet, but it just feels like a very unnatural way to try to find love.

Jnei Level 8 Aug 22, 2018

Dating hard.

The thing I can't figure out about women (no offense intended to anyone) is why people hit the button that says they "like" me or are "interested" in me, but then don't follow that up when I respond with a message or interest of my own. Are all those accidental? Some even have messages of their own. They couldn't all be fishing me, could they? I'm pretty good at spotting the signs...

Any guesses? Do men do the same thing to you?

I don't even know yet.


Just try to have fun with it. Folloew your instincts and enjoy the journey.


You forgot "I shot something!" ?

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:160875
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.