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Humanist/agnostic lesbian lady of a certain age here (61). My girlfriend recently broke up with me and of course much of the trouble between us probably stemmed from the fact that I am a non-believer, and although she attends a new-age progressive type church she was a little disturbed by my insistence that I can't say I BELIEVE in anything that can't be proven to be TRUE. She believes she will/has had multiple lives. As an intellectual exercise I find the idea of reincarnation interesting and appealing, but that does not mean I believe in it. Like-wise her reliance on astrology and tarot readings to guide her life decisions I found to be disturbing. I can't put any faith in a thing that is based on magical thinking. That includes theistic beings, virgin births, or some unknown universal force I could send good vibes to so that my hopes and wishes will be realized. Why can't people understand that a non-believer can be a spiritual person. By that I mean there are things I believe in ..strongly. I believe in love, beauty, the awesome wonder of nature and the inherent goodness in people that causes us to reach out to and help and support and nurture one another. I believe in truth, logic,compassion, empathy and reality. I believe in doing good for the sake of goodness, because as a sentient, social being it is my duty to my fellow beings, not as a way to attain eternal reward or avoid damnation. I'm finding it very difficult to meet someone (I live in the middle of the bible belt) who is not living under the influence of religious indoctrination. I was under its spell myself when I was younger and literally felt I'd been set free when I left the church behind. It took decades to get all the negative influence out of my head. As a result I was closeted and in denial most of my life. I won't compromise that freedom now.

ginger56 3 Aug 22

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I feel ya, being from just down the road from you...since I switched teams and decided to finally accept that I'm a lesbian it wasn't too difficult for me to find women that had issues with the church. I attended a gay church and that was a whole different dynamic, went totally against what I had been taught and led to believe by the church and my parents/upbringing. I haven't really dated anyone seriously since fully embracing atheism, so I haven't had to really face what you just experienced. 😟 I'm sorry things didn't work in that relationship...keep trying, we are out there under the radar in this terrible part of the country. The scariest thing for me is running across conservative gays on social media. It's an oxymoron to me, the two don't go together. It's self-defeating! Don't they get it? 🙂


Really sorry to hear that but good to hear you state what you believe and yes I totally agree with you ever thought of moving somewhere more positive for you.?


Sorry to hear about the difficult break-up. I've tried dating some women that held beliefs like the ones you describe and it just never works, at least for me. I've added "non-believer" to the same list of must-haves as "non-smoker" and "not a couch potato". Good luck to you. It's tough here in the bible belt.


Welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear about your relationship ending. I trust you will find lots of people here to share your values.


Welcome to the site... Sorry about your breakup.
Your location is a tough one....I drive through Missouri up 44 a lot the anti-Hilary/pro-Trump billboards are crazy....there are soooo many.

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