As far as appearances go I do find it very odd that people mark them as deal breakers since we do not choose how our bodies decide to mold themselves beyond basics of diet and exercise. I do understand the no smoking thing though as a deal breaker with a severe allergy to cigarette smoke I can't be around it with out breaking out getting clogged sinuses a swollen throat and just being flat out miserable and Brian is a severe asthmatic with one of the main triggers for his asthma attacks being cigarette smoke so deal breaker due to safety. Not something most people would think about I know but maybe that is why some of the deal breakers you have seen is them having a health issue with it like no drinking because they are a recovering alcoholic. People also have their own weird little things about them like maybe long toes give them anxiety or something that seems silly to most people but is very real to them. I just totally made the toe thing up but it fits the funny in a weird way scheme rather well. At the end of the day I'm not sure if they are double standards or if they are just quirky people or if there are other reasons but my big question is do their reasons for the deal breakers matter to you or just that they are deal breakers?

I actually dated a woman after telling her that I was a smoker. She broke up with me citing the smoking as the reason, yet she smoked marajuana all day every day, from first thing in the morning until evening.

I actually dated a woman after telling her that I was a smoker. She broke up with me citing the smoking as the reason, yet she smoked marajuana all day every day, from first thing in the morning until evening.

I think most people are probably way too picky. My sister in law can't handle bald, short, and a whole lot of other unimportant things. She's 49 and counting and still single. Ironically in her last relationship she settled for a guy who wouldn't commit, who showed up unannounced when he pleased for companionship or sex ... so apparently that's not a problem ... I truly do not understand that woman. Paralysis of the analysis over all the wrong things.

Just a head's up blondes are out of fashion I'm finding.... but yeah I've noticed this.
I was and still don't consider myself a "height hound" but smaller guys make me feel like a whale vs when I was young.

Completely drives me nuts! I totally get if a guy isn't into overweight women but DON'T put it in your profile, makes you sound like a shallow douche! Either ignore messages from someone you aren't interested in (BBW) or just say you're big into fitness and are looking for the same.

Maybe not enough coffee today....I am not following..... Maybe Alzheimer is coming to collect my dues today... dunno

I once watched two very unattractive men sit near the entrance in a pub and criticize even the most minute flaws of each woman who walked through. Not one woman escaped the scrutiny and censure of these two obvious losers. It was fascinating.

Men think the world revolves around them.

I have so many deal breakers with men, most would be excluded..no overweight, short, unemployed, flabby men who gorge on junk food and red meat, nobody who likes to fish, hunt, golf, follows NASCAR, only Caucasian Americans from educated, upper class backgrounds, someone my age, with at least the same level of education, must love to read and must have often traveled abroad, be fit, eat health food, etc.

Otherwise, I like being single just fine and I'm in no hurry.

People have a right, no, a duty, to not waste their own or others, time. I appreciate someone who lets me know to move on.

      Saves you the trouble of having to find that out later I guess. I feel you. When I was 19 I had some extra pounds on me and this guy told me if I lost weight he could love me. I told him I hope he gets AIDs and dies, which is among the meaner things I have ever said in my life to anyone. (No I don't really wish that. We were young and dumb) He got upset and told me that was messed up and how could I say that. I laughed at him and said how could you say that. I told him you know that isn't love. 
      And then in my 20s I met someone else that told me he left his wife for gaining weight. Acting like a person's value is about their weight because that person happens to be a woman is some old school crap like the earth is flat. 
      In my 30s I met a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer needing a mastectomy who's husband told her he was afraid he wouldn't be attracted to her anymore.
      And another man more recently that was going to leave his wife because she is sick. I meet men trying to cheat on their wives because they want a body and don't want to remember people live inside those bodies, people that want to be treated fair and loved honestly so they don't go crazy.                                                                     
      It is an abusive way, disregarding someone's personhood.  A woman is a person, a human being, a friend, someone you can share life with you if you are lucky. You need to care about that person just like that person cares about your person. I am not my body. I have a body. How sad that so many are still so poorly educated. You don't need someone who is going to treat you that way in your life. Be thankful they told you out front. What they are looking for isn't even love and you don't want what they are offering so certainly don't try to change you for that! You don't have to go with them. There are people who know better. Get with them

Remember - it's humans, and they can be mighty strange.

Not a matter of right or wrong - but fact is, everyone's got their "thing", their preferences, their turn-offs.
However , not everyone is adept at stating those things without sounding adolescent or downright rude and highly unappealing !

As for feelings being hurt ? It's the readers choice to decide to be hurt by a complete stranger, that they'll likely never see in real life.
F 'em !

One explanation could be that some criteria might be in direct response to having been recently hurt by someone fitting that description and the poster doesn't want to be reminded of the person with particular attributes. Still, I'd steer clear of someone still obviously not equalized after a bad experience with love/relationship.

So, it's a good idea to click "next" for anyone pre-judging outright on particulars. When they mature a bit, those deal breakers might fade or get a bit more fuzzy as they realize there are wonderful people in all shapes, sizes, colors and habits, some of which can change. Without pre-judging, sometimes we fall for someone we never would have given a chance to, with what we thought was our criteria, and adapt happily because we we get smitten by what can't be described in advance.

I think its great that they post what they will and won't be open to. It helps us weed out the incompatible without wasting a second of our time.

This reminds me of the cartoon of a fat trucker with a sign on his truck door:

"No Fat Chicks"

I doubt anyone wants to see they are being rejected , without someone even getting to know them . However , they did get to know themselves . The plan is to not have to hurt someone else or themselves by having to reject someone they know will be outside of what they want to build their life around . For instance , my grandfather , my father , and my brother were all smokers . I had to live with all three when I was a teenager . I know what that was like and never want to have to live that way again . I am not rejecting a person . I am rejecting a habit that makes my life bad . I don't have that in my life now , haven't for several decades and have no desire to live that way again . On the other hand a friend who is a smoker , has dated numerous women who don't smoke , who gave him a try . After dating for some period of time , he has repeatedly ended his relationships with several because , among other things , they don't like his smoking . It's an addiction . Even though he says he's given it up for long periods of time before , that does not mean he has any intention of quiting for good , ever .

I fail to find a difference.

""If you're a woman who's looking for taller men, pass me by." is equal to "I am short if you need a tall man, keep looking."

How is this a double standard?

If it was "If you are a woman looking for a man that is not fat" - - - yes, this a double standard as the attribute of "fat" is one he will not accept even though he expects a woman to accept a fat man. Thus a double standard.