This is a really good place to meet people. Even if I never find a relationship, I'm very happy with the thoughtfulness and respect in this community.

Having criteria and sticking to it is a good idea. I relaxed my criteria for my last relationship and it did not go well.

My last relationship was with someone with whom I disagreed on with politics and religion. Those were actually the least of our problems, but they also contributed to our major problem in that he was a lying cheat. By attending his political rallies and his new age touchy feely gatherings, he knew he could pursue those gals without me finding out, as our circles would never cross. (He was smart that way, making sure all his lady friends had completely different interests.)

So, now similar religious and political views are as important as honesty and honor to me, for long term relationships. We were simply not able to have civil conversations about religion and politics, nor some other issues on which we disagreed.

Here on this site, I can discuss freely my thoughts on those subjects. Although not looking for a mate, I'm enjoying all the many discussions. I think Agnostic.com is my new boyfriend, haha!

I would prefer to start with friendship. More laughter, compassion and optimism and as little drama as possible. I don't expect, perfection, but honesty and communication are essential. If there is attraction and affection develops, which takes time if it's real, then I'd be thrilled. If a man needs to be healed, fixed, repaired, or rescued, then I'm not the 'droid he's looking for.

I agree with you, this is so hard because there are too many choices! Back in the 30s, 40s and 50s people would go out with maybe 2 people and marry the 2nd one and stay with them for life, changing as necessary to keep the relationship together as the commitment was so much deeper. Now we are looking for the perfect soulmate, relationship coach, co-parent, exercise buddy and lover...do you know how high that bar is set? It takes me 2-3 days of searching to find the perfect Friday night dinner spot or perfect meetup spot....much less the person I want to spend my quality time with or even bear my flaws and vulnerabilities.......yikes!

Real..... instead of blowing smoke up my butt

I wish you well, I am not in the market and so I feel I can give you unbiased advice. Don’t have preconceived notions or conditions about your ideal partner. Yes, I can understand that you wouldn’t want to get involved with someone who has diametrically opposed views, but a lot of people are pretty luke warm on religion and may nominally be Christian but not evangelical about it. Likewise politically, does the political party one votes for really define us? Maybe because I’m British I think differently from you guys and place less importance on the differences but instead would go looking for the common interests and outlook of a prospective partner.

I've learned not to have hard and fast limitations - as flexibility allows for possibility.

However certain ones like smoking, any substance dependence, or extreme right winger , will remain solid as a wall ( I don't want to see built ) !

What am I looking for? A chick who knows herself, has her own thing going on and wants to have good times with another woman who can keep up. I don't know if that means love but I am pretty loyal to those I care about. I am looking for friends in the West Valley of Phoenix AZ to do activities and just be social. No trumpsters but good with fiscal conservatives any day. No god means better, more fulfilling conversations. I hope to find that here.
I hope those that comment on this discussion find what they are looking for as well.

Dont give up buddy