AN OPEN LETTER TO PEOPLE WITH A PENIS

So now it's the Dallas Maverick's turn to ride on the sexual harassment rollercoaster. This has become tiresome. How many times do these gropey pervs have to get busted before they collectively get the message that they're not going to get away with it?

Every other day I see a story about how some rich, prominent figure was caught with his hand down his secretary's blouse, then he denies it, then comes the blowback, then he crawls off in disgrace.

Guys, whether you're rich and famous or poor and obscure, or anywhere in-between and you see a woman and think to yourself "I'll bet she wants me to cop a feel." disregard that impulse. It won't go well.

• This has been a public service announcement from The Committee to Advance the Idea That You Can't Just Feel Up a Woman Because You Want To