I don't think that's quite accurate. I think we can love those who we perceive as better than we are, and that makes us suffer. We keep trying in hopes of one day proving ourselves worthy and that makes us suffer more. We may leave those who we perceive as not actually being in love with us, but as being obsessed and/or infatuated with us, and so see the relationship as artificial and potentially toxic.

I could never love someone who made me 'suffer' and I could never leave someone that was treating me well, loved me and made me happy.

Because familiarity breeds contempt....and because people covet what they want ..but can't have. ..

I think sometimes if we haven't done the work to love ourselves, we don't recognize the people who love us and focus on the ones who don't. Someone who loves us would actually scare us, and someone who doesn't is more familiar.

It's complicated

we can be stupid at times.

What? Sounds like a bad country-western song lyric

We can’t make ourselves love those who are the most suitable and we can’t stop ourselves from loving the least suitable! Love is not rational, it doesn’t come from rational thinking.....it is a chemical reaction and completely irrational!

I definitely quit staying with the ones who make me unhappy back in my 30's. With the ones that love you most, sometimes it can be too much or you just don't feel the same way.

do we? i don't.

g

Don't do that. Love the ones that make your heart happy and make you feel safe. Ditch the ones that bring suffering to the table.