9 months man is no time at all grief is the unwanted gift that keeps giving with the anniversary on the horizon i hope you have some good people near you or a support group that may be able to help in any way you think appropriate. Take care

A major loss like that is not processed in a mere nine months. Some never process it. I would guess the average is 18 to 24 months, if you sit with your emotions without judgment, and work through them. But that's only a rough an unscientific average.

It certainly seems endless, and one certainly is at least temporarily numbed by it.

My most recent death in the family was my adult son, just over 2 years ago and I would say I've integrated it about as much as anybody is going to integrate such on obscenity as your child preceding you in death. As always, it is very much a "spiral" process, you think you're "over it" and then the sorrow flows again. And there will never be a time when you won't feel sadness or loss over it, it will just be down to a dull roar.

Both my son and the death before that (2nd wife) took me somewhere between 18 and 24 months depending on how you define the "end" of a process that never quite ends.

If you feel stuck, definitely seek help in some form or other. Group therapy, formal or informal, seems to work for a lot of people. There are lots of people grieving losses, and lots of groups for them. Don't discount the potential value there. It's a little more dicey for us men, as these groups tend to be dominated by females and they tend to process grief in a different, more intense and cathartic sort of way, but all you really need is a little empathy and support ... it can go a long way. Also helps you understand you're not alone.

I lost my wife of 27 years last Sept 13th 2017, many sad days,then,less tears now,a wound that never quite heals,remaining under a thin ,easily torn off scab. Bent,but not broken.......

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Grief has it's own journey for each individual; however long you need to heal, allow it. There a lot of good people here who have probably been through something similar. Keeping an emotional distance I know for me is my mind's way of protecting itself. I would suggest also if you can to reach out to a bereavement group in your area, they may be able to give you additional support.

What a terrible thing for you to have to experience. I can't imagine the pain. I hope you will be able to eventually open up to the world again. I think this will be a good place for you. It's a very supportive environment and I believe there are a number of members who have had similar experiences. I won't insult you with platitudes about how wonderful things will get -- that's not a given. But while we're alive there is always the possibility of something amazing happening to us.

Very sorry you lost her. I only know that it takes different amounts of time for different people. The old cliches about staying busy, seeing/trying new things are proven methods to stave off the bad times. It does get easier m85575.

Seems to fall into that all-encompassing question of it having been better to have loved and lost than never loved… Any more, my life feels littered with the same. Littered with loves..

Not sure if we’re living faster, but definitely longer, so I doubt we’ve evolved an instinctive ability to rationalize loss. No doubt our ancestors lost some mates and children, but must have quickly moved on.. Can we?