That's the thing with social media, it's easier to avoid than to resolve.

In any case though, the other thing about social media that my wife and I often reflect upon is that it puts you in touch (or at least sort of in touch) with countless people that in a previous era you would permanently lose track of and think nothing of it. But now you know each other online and there are all these old memories they have and people don't seem to realize that after 40+ years you might have, you know, changed a bit. And it's awkward. If one of the girls who used to flutter their eyes at me in HS but I wasn't interested, started to contact me, I'd probably block them too. It's simplest, and like I said, but for this artificial online construct we wouldn't even know of each other's existence.

My wife has had a couple of old flames try to rekindle things with her and she has been more engaged and gently made it clear she's not interested. I just don't think she owes them that, although it's nice that she does it and I'm cool with it. A lot of spouses wouldn't be though. Ironically my wife wouldn't, she's just less secure and trusting I guess, so I make sure there's no chance for anything untoward to go on -- and I wouldn't feel I owe such people an explanation just because they once entertained fantasies about me. That's their issue, not mine.

@mordant but not everyone who contacts you has a burning flame.. blocking before talking still seems weird to me.

@hippydog I suppose it's a bit like how most people drop everything to answer the phone when it rings, but nothing says you have to do that. If I can't see the caller ID display I invariably let mine go to voice mail and deal with it later. Similarly every FB poke or PM doesn't require a response and a block isn't a personal affront, any more than it's personal that I block spam callers on my smart phone.

When my wife was new to FB she reasoned (rightly, in my view, but wrongly, in the view of most people) that "friends" are just a bullshit replacement label for "contacts". Naively, she "un-friended" several family members after an unseemly ALL CAPS ARGUMENT spilled over into her timeline, which she was trying to keep pristine for professional contacts (another misunderstanding on her part about what FB was good for, but this was early days). This simple act was taken VERY personally and caused a huge family catfight that has had repercussions to the present day, a good decade later.

I fail to see why most people can't see through this "friending" business as just clever framing for something very mundane and impersonal. But it certainly has made FB countless billions of dollars, so there's that.

At any rate, the notion that this woman was obligated to respond in any way after years of non-contact just because someone else hopes she will, or that it's rude or dysfunctional for her to choose to block, I can't agree with, even though I kinda-sorta understand that subjective response in the person being blocked.

@mordant hmm..
Ok.. what if we took fb out of the equation.. and you by accident found on old friend from junior high that had moved away and then moved to where you are.. so you decide to say hi to them (doesnt matter the format.. email, fb, phone, twitter) and they not only hang up on you (or don't respond) but they use a robotic response of some sort to say don't contact me ever again..
That would not bother you in anyway? You would completely forget about the whole thing seconds later and never wonder wtf?

@hippydog It'd give me a momentary pause I suppose but I've seen so much of this that I honestly no longer take it personally. I live in a college town and there's a ridiculous number of asian students. Now asians as a general cultural thing have very different ideas about what is considered polite or nice and while there are exceptions, they do not make eye contact or smile perfunctorily at me when they pass me by. This is exactly why in the marginally less enlightened WW2 years, people wondered what asians (then termed "orientals" ) were hiding since they weren't properly signifying their harmlessness by being open and friendly (by our standards). Which is part of what led to the Japanese being put into interment camps.

Granted these are total strangers, not "hail fellow well met". So it's not exactly the same. But for instance I went to a 40th HS class reunion and there were people who were happy to see me and others who didn't show interest. True, they stopped just short of being inappropriate, but damned if I'm going to loose sleep trying to figure out what their deal was.

Another example, I have a brother whose name is Dick and let's just say he has a tendency to live up to his name. He's a Dick, but he's our Dick and we love him. Anyway, I called him a few weeks back and caught him in top Dick form, in a preoccupied / evil mood and he mostly grunted his way through the conversation and then said he had to go and hung up before I could say a proper "well goodbye then". I'll admit I didn't call him for about 3 months after just out of bemused irritation but when I did, it was as if nothing had transpired and I doubt he'd remember the original convo. People are like that, they're Dicks. It's their problem.

So no ... I'm not saying it's nothing, exactly, but it's pretty close. I'm not saying I'd act that way, or want others to, but ... life is short and idiots are plentiful so, whatevs.

No anger, but there is hurt. No resentment, but there is confusion. I have talked to a mutual friend that was her best friend and close to being mine as well, and she has no idea, even though they are in regular connection.