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I am 81 years old and have been searching for a loved one. Why is it so hard to find a someone to share intimate times with. It seems that more men are willing to go into a relationship, be it with the opposite sex or their own sex, At that age sex is for pleasure and sharing each other, not for procreation. Do women not want pleasure?

anton3744 1 Sep 25
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Of course women want sexual pleasure.

My high libido continued after menopause. But casual sex makes me sad.

I miss the tender touch, laughter, conversation, intimacy, teamwork and fun of a committed, loving relationship.

Otherwise, I have a great imagination and a vibrator.

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Of course many women want pleasure - but generally, they also want much more beyond that ...

Pleasure is easily obtained, compatibility is not. No matter what one's age.

After reading some responses, I'll add, that a women's sexual desire often increases after menopause. And there are plenty of young women that are not at all interested in "doin' it".

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When I remarried in my early 50s to a woman whose kids were a couple years from heading off to college and my own kids both launched, I naively thought, now it's our time, we'll stay up nights talking about everything and nothing and have lots of sex and travel all we want and we can finally focus on ourselves.

How wrong I was.

Life has a way of happening to you in ways you do not anticipate.

My stepson boomeranged on us and I love him like my own but I have no idea when his OCD issues will allow him to properly launch. My stepdaughter turned out to be a hateful little shit. My wife's extended family drama, our deteriorating health, my son's death, and a bunch of other stuff has caused me to despair that there even IS such a thing as "our time". It's looking pretty mythical to me at this point.

So all I can say is if you are still randy at your age, count your blessings. Women such as you seek do exist. I used to live in the Phoenix area and from what I was told you might consider relocating to Surprise, AZ or environs, there are stories of old folks going at it in the bushes over there. All it takes is two people in the same room who realize it's literally "now or never". It focuses you. And a lifetime of sexual repression helps it along I suppose.

Of course a lot of men AND women feel they've had their fill, and just want "companionship". And that's fine, too.

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i doubt many people whatever the age are going to be interested in anyone whos focus is sex. The older you get the more life throws in your way energy levels aches pains libido levels erectile dysfunction dryness but all that aside i would guess most people want to feel a connection 1st then see where that takes them

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I'm 71,computer savy(not programming),but know my way around the operating system,still healthy,Widower,lost wife of 27 years last Sept. It's not easy finding a loving Woman at our ages.

@Mile1947

Online dating is a written, visual medium. Women want to see your eyes and smile.

The psychology is if you look happy in your photos, women will see you as a fun person they would enjoy being around.

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81 with a sex drive, and knows how to use the internet? We better capture you, and study. My dad is 72, and he literally does not know how to turn on a computer!

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Being that far out of menopause is something that men don't understand. There are a plethora of problems, not to mention lack of sexual desire ,for women at that age. Certainly it is possible for a female to be sexually active in old age, but it takes a tremendous amount of communication to address health concerns and issues.

@Kojaksmom -- It is indeed sad that men in general are not able to deal with this. My wife went into menopause early and sex became painful for her as well as losing interest. I didn't marry her for sex and we were the best of friends before we married. Because of this it wasn't a problem for us. A little adjusting was needed on both our parts, but the transition back to just being the best of friends who were very much in love with one another was pretty smooth. We remain delightfully intimate without intercourse being part of it.

I wish @anton3744 the best of luck, but I think he needs to come to an understanding about the issue of post menopausal women of advanced age and even some of younger years -- example, my wife and myself. anton, lighten up on yourself, man. Relax and keep yourself open for whatever relationship comes your way that is genuine because they become increasingly rare as the years roll by. Best wishes your way, man.

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