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Imagine a world where if a man finds you attractive, he can pretty much do anything he likes to you and yet it be your fault and you would be punished for it. Where your not even allowed to talk to male non-family members.....

Well we do live in that world just a different part of it.

Just look at how Muslims treat women as part of their religion. What else is a burka for but to stop a man being attracted to her?

Saudi Arabia, Korea, China, Japan, all over Africa and other places women are still held with that disregard.

Why should the woman have to wear a burka to stop a man raping her? What I'm saying is we live in a world, today, that that is still common place and that women can wake up the next day (or potentially with Harvey Wankstien 20 years later) and change her mind on whether she consented or not. Especially easy once someone else has told their story, your recollection may change or you may choose for it to change.

If you had consensual sex with Harvey 20 years ago, its easy for your memory to be changed that consent wasn't given. I'm not saying anything did or didn't happen.

I'm not saying anyone is in the wrong or right. What I'm saying is the only people who truly know what happened is the people who experienced it and their words COULD say something completely different to what happened.

If someone you don't like comes on to you, it's sexual harassment (even a wolf-whistle) if someone you like does, it CAN end in sex. In 20 years time men won't come on to women offline through fear of rejection (which is bad enough), but, now rejection can easily come hand in hand with getting done for sexual harassment. Why would a man even try to talk to you in real life? So then we turn to the digital world where men desperately message every woman in the hope of creating a spark. (This is of course not considering what that change to creating relationships in the real world will have on the online world as new laws will be introduced).

Ac08 4 Jan 27
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6 comments

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1

I suppose my own tag of myself as a humanist is based on the fact that I want to help people, but I think people suck. Damned if you do and damned if you don't lol.

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It happens in America too. Just look at our very own president's comments on grabbing pussy, and the entire culture of sexualizing out children. It's a sick world. Again, not a big fan of humanity.

I know its so different in "western" society to other parts of the world where things happen every day that "civilised" people would be appalled at

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"Why would a man even try to talk to you in real life?"

Because he's a grown-up, who

  • knows how to talk to people , respectfully and authentically
  • knows how to handle rejection gracefully, and doesn't fear it (because his baseline self-esteem is intact)
  • trusts his self-control not to behave creepishly
  • knows how to deal with wackjobs who get offended over misconstrued innocuous words or behavior
  • doesn't pigeon-hole all women in the same fun house mirror category

...you know, adulty stuff.

I was only saying that in relation to how the world will potentially change in that time and a dark path that may happen if "civilised" parts of the world continue down a path we seem to currently be going down. That particular comment was in relation to a world where he cannot come onto a woman without fear of rejection and prosecution were to coexist with any interaction.

You said it so well - I have nothing to add !

@evergreen Someday the tables will turn and I will say the same to you! I like sharing brains. 🙂

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I don't know that I can really get on board with everything here, mostly because I'm not a 'throw a bunch of shit at the wall to see what sticks' kind of guy, but I get your fear. Even when I agreed with this fear on another post a woman insinuated I should stop having one night stands and that I was a sexual predator (both of which couldn't be further from the truth- I've never had a one night stand or Weinsteined anyone).

Thanks for your comment. I didn't throw a bunch of shit to see what sticks, I was highlighting the world we live in (well parts of it that are a disgrace) , the possibility of the change of a humans memory, some men do do horrible things, some men are a victim of false accusations too and both possibilities have to be considered and a possible world that could exist in 20 years.

@Ac08 Oh, sorry, I was talking about the method guys use to hit on a million women in the hopes of finding the one that says yes.

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It isn't clear to me where you are going with this post? It almost sounds like you are suggesting we men either a) require all women to meet our every demand, or b) men give up, back off, and wait for the women to decide what to do with us.

No I was saying that in parts of the world today that is expected (incorrectly) because of their religeon and in other parts of the world there is the possibility of a very different eventuality that has already started and where that may lead us if persued

@Ac08 ... ummmmm.... errr.... that didn't help me understand where you are going. May I ask a question that helps me understand...
Are arranged marriages a good thing or a bad thing? (I can argue both sides of that question.)

@Dick_Martin easy a bad thing, people should have personal choice what to do with their lives when they have become adult, as long as nobody gets hurt

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Yes I am pretty familiar with what you wrote. Date rape, and child rape is something that our culture needs to deal with also.

Unfortunately, as with any attack it has to happen before the abuser can be dealt with. The only way to create enough fear to stop things that happen behind closed doors would be to have everywhere bugged. People generally make choices based on how it affects them with no regard as to what the other person goes through or even considering their point of view at all.

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