Suicide. I just discovered a former colleague of mine husband committed suicide this week. The 30 year old or so female colleague was religious, professional, and enthusiastic. Very professional. She had a single child , the husband was primary caregiver.
Last year we worked together, we were on a trip and she fainted. She went home and discovered she had cancer . She went through 6 months of treatment , never missed a day of work. She went into remission. The next week her father fell I'll from pancreatic cancer and died weeks later
She moved from NC to Florida to get more sunshine and beach in her life and get a fresh start. Wednesday her husband committed suicide.
I have never a young woman or man endure sio much pain and suffering. She never once brought up religion to me and I was grateful for that.
I truly hope her faith Carry's her through this.
Faith in god , what nonsense .
6
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6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.So much pain for one person to bear. How sad.
BufftonBeotch
Level 8
Oct 12, 2018
1
Oh my! That's so terrible.. I'm so sorry to hear that. Hugs to all affected.
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
Oct 12, 2018
0
This is a tragic story. It makes me feel grateful to be healthy and alive.
Hugs.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Oct 12, 2018
1
What a heartbreaking story, you can only hope she stays cancer free for her child. Hopefully she’ll move closer to her family and get the support she needs.
Green_eyes
Level 8
Oct 12, 2018
2
I think she is going back to mom and kansas
I'm gonna get bashed for this but I'll say it anyway......her husband was a selfish bastard and a coward. I had a friend who went thru much the same thing - and when she was the one who found her husband dead in his bed - well let's just say that PTSD doesn't even begin to cover what she continues to go thru every single day.
Lavergne
Level 8
Oct 12, 2018
1
I considered that . I am imagining that mental illness is a bit beyond that. Somehow he imagined his daughter and wife being better off. I don't know. I hear ya , but I'm not joining the chorus.
I’m sorry, but people who have to deal with their own severe depression would never say that someone who committed suicide was a “selfish bastard and a coward.” Severe depression is an awful illness. If he could have seen a better way, he would not have killed himself.
I won’t pretend to know what was in his mind nor will I denigrate what your friend is going through. Obviously, her husband’s suicide is something awful to add to the huge psychological burden she is already going through.
Be her friend. Let her know that his suicide is not her fault – because, at some point, that is one of the emotions she will go through (along with anger directed at him). Be supportive in a positive way. Be there for her. Don’t feed the anger by telling her he is a selfish bastard. Instead, help her to try to understand it. He is the man she loved. She will be better served by loving his memory, not by bitterness. In the end, if you keep blaming him, you could damage your friendship.
@Rob1948 I apologize if I stepped on any toes - but it hit a hot button with me. I understand about depression and other mental health issues. I will just say that each situation is different - and my friend - who is still my friend and she tells me that these days I am her ONLY friend - is consumed with the idea that somehow she "missed something"....that it was her fault. I knew her husband - better than she did. Maybe that's why I saw it from that perspective.
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