The Exodus: Nice Story; Pity About The Reality: Part Two

THE TEN PLAGUES

We’ve all learned about the ten plagues inflicted on Egypt and her citizens. Alas, and surprisingly, the ten plagues aren’t recorded in ancient Egyptian historical texts. Sure, ancient Egypt suffered several natural disasters, the Nile over-flooding or not flooding enough; droughts and famines, but hardly anything akin to the rapid succession of all manner of other calamities the Bible relates – blood, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and death to the firstborn. Historians don’t have a bar of these plague tales since there’s not the remotest shred of hardcore evidence for them. Natural explanations can easily account for these as happening over the very long term as disassociated events – I mean there’s nothing supernatural about hail, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, locusts or alga blooms (blood). Darkness can result from solar eclipses to ash clouds from volcanic eruptions to usually overcast conditions.

As for the last plague, God directly smites the firstborn (including the firstborn of livestock for some absolutely unfathomable reason humane societies need to comment on), of all and sundry Egyptians (sparing of course the Israelites), in direct violation of his commandment “Thou shall not kill”. Wow, God of the double standard is an absolute understatement in this context.

You’d think that if a foreign deity (to the Egyptians) had smite the Egyptians with those ten plagues (or even just the final one – the straw that broke Pharaoh X’s back) that there would have, again, been some record of it in ancient Egyptian inscriptions. No! You’d think God would have been the subject of some of those famous Egyptian revenge spells and curses, for after all they only affected the Egyptians, not the Israelites. Apparently that’s not the case.

Verdict: The ten plagues are either un-associated events widely separated in time or pure fiction. I’d opt for pure fiction due to a lack of documentation in Egypt’s historical records.

THOSE ISRAELITE OR HEBREW SLAVES

What Israelite Slaves? No such population has been recorded in Egyptian history and the ancient Egyptians kept careful records as only obsessed accountants can. However, we’ll go with the Exodus flow and note that the ten plagues finally convinced Pharaoh X to let God’s chosen people go. Well, sort of. One obvious question arises however. Since Pharaoh X was the lone obstacle, why was it necessary to take out atrocities on the ordinary Egyptian citizen totally ignorant of what was going on and why – ditto those livestock? I mean subjecting Pharaoh X to several hours of heavy metal or rap music (God would have foreseen those ‘musical’ styles coming to pass) should have done the torture trick without undue ethical consequences. Regardless, and after-the-fact, Pharaoh X changed his mind and sent out his army and army’s chariots to bring ‘em back dead or alive – well probably alive since a dead slave isn’t of any use, even to a Pharaoh. High Noon was at the Red Sea, or was that the Sea of Reeds?

Verdict: Ancient Egypt did not; repeat did not, put to work any Israelii slaves.

IS IT THE RED SEA OR THE REED SEA?

Assuming the accuracy of Exodus up to this point (which I don’t), there’s dispute about the crossing of THAT body of water by the escaping Israelites and the drowning of Pharaoh X’s pursuing army. The KJV of the Bible does indeed say “Red sea”. However scholars suggest that it was, if there has to be a ‘was’, the Reed Sea or Sea of Reeds, that marshy area part and parcel of the northeast Delta region of Egypt.

Why the confusion for such an important, unique, even historical event? - If it happened of course. And how could it happen?

Verdict: it didn’t happen. If the ancient Egyptians had had that many of their army wiped out, there would be a bona-fide historical record of it inscribed somewhere in some manner in ancient Egyptian writings or inscriptions. And claims that the remains of Egyptian chariots have been found on the Red Sea seabed have proven to be total nonsense and pseudo-archaeology. Any bona-fide archaeologist would sell their soul to the devil for such a discovery – an army’s worth of Egyptian war chariots from that era at the bottom of the Red Sea. They’d become as famous as Howard Carter of King Tut fame or Heinrich Schliemann who found and uncovered Troy. To confirm the Exodus via physical archaeological evidence would be worthy of a Nobel Prize – if they gave one for archaeology or history of course.

THE PARTING OF THE WATERS

But assuming this unique geographical parting of the waters event happened, perhaps a massively strong wind or an earthquake might have accomplished the task naturally, but the texts (Exodus and other Biblical references) don’t relate any such natural forces that would have been strong enough to work at the time. If there was a wind, and there was a wind according to Exodus, strong enough to ‘part the waters’, then it would have been strong enough to blow both the Israelites and the Egyptians to the Promised Land in one puff! Apparently Moses waved his arms about and did the hokey-pokey and the rest as they say is history. Of course mortal men cannot part the waters, so again either we have an uncited natural event; or a real God behind the scenes, waiting in the wings offstage pulling the actual strings; or yet again, an episode of pure fiction.

Verdict: pure fiction.