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I am in the middle of a conversation with someone i know only slightly. it is through the message service of a war game i play online (no, not a facebook game) he is in my order and for reasons unknown to me he decided to check in on me, and i told him i had been playing less due to illness and upcoming surgery. some of the stuff you have to do on the game requires attention, and my attentions, and ability to sit up for long periods of time, are impaired. so he said he would pray for me. i let it pass. but then he said he would ask the church (not his church, THE church, by which i understand he means his church) to pray for me. so i have just asked him in terms as polite and conciliatory as possible not to do that. i have asked him not to be offended. i know he means well. he can't help being brainwashed. he didn't necessarily do it to himself. he probably has a whole family and community all around him pumping this stuff onto and into him. he means well and i am trying not to hurt his feelings. i only know him by name from the game; i doubt we've personally communicated before except maybe in order chat about game business.

i am guessing he may be offended anyway. there's nothing i can do about that.

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genessa 8 Oct 20
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7 comments

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i don't know what time zone or even part of the world he is in but he just got online and responded to my request very grandly, saying he would definitely honor my wishes. i knew he meant no harm!

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I usually just say thanks.

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such is life

so i didn't say he was offended, and if this offends him, that doesn't mean he is EASILY offended. wow, are we being judgmental today? anyway he probably won't be back online until later and then i might or might not know more. i'm curious, not worried.

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Sometimes its best to allow yourself to state the obivious..that it is not your belief, that if it makes him/her feel better, thats fine with you. But his well wishes meant more than his prayers. And if he is offended by that...that is not your responsibility.

i went out of my way to say i appreciated his wishes. so far no response.

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@genessa you went above and beyond. Do you really want one??

@HankSherman i feel i did. now it is possible he was on his way offline; he said he'd check back with me tomorrow. he may not even have seen what i wrote yet. i'm not worried. i just thought it was an interesting thing to mention here, given the nature of the site.

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Onward Christian soldiers, onward onto e-war!

i honestly think this person meant well. i have no partivular interest in converting him, or making him feel bad, but i felt it would be dishonest, in the face of repeated assertions concerning prayer, to thank him and keep quiet.

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I am never sure how to react to that kind of thing. My old next-door neighbor stopped me on the way out of the driveway to pray for me one day. It was just weird.

LB67 Level 7 Oct 20, 2018

I refuse to allow anyone to trap me in conversation. I explain that I'm "not interested" and will say so twice if necessary....then walk away.

@HankSherman that may be more difficult if it happens with people with whom you have some kind of relationship. it works better with strangers.

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@genessa people that I have a relationship with know me, they might have been strangers once. I do not allow anyone to trap me into conversation. Strangers make better friends when they know that, and I'm a better friend also.

@HankSherman i do not feel trapped. he's a teammate on a game. we don't know each other personally and it was nice of him to reach out since he probably knew from chat i've been sick. we're not likely to become close. i have no reason to chastise him. i politely and even conciliatorily asked him not to pray for me. i don't need to do more than that.

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@genessa and I would not chastise you for the way you want to handle your situation. If your comfortable with it. I'm certainly fine. At any ways......my original post was to LB67. Who did seem to be open to suggestion on how to handle her situation...just saying

It was more awkward for me that she was a next door neighbor who surprised me with it. I do not react well when I am startled by a behaviour. I dislike confrontations snd would usually try to avoid these situations, altogether. I have told people that I am not interested, when I have no worries about constantly running into them.

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I just let them pray. It can't hurt and I don't care.

the odd thing is i had JUST read about how patients who know they're being prayed for do worse than otherwise. and he kept repeating it. it DID hurt; it bothered me, and i cared.

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@genessa I never heard that! I will look that up. I don't believe prayer does anything at all so I never mind if someone says they are praying for me.

@GreatNani prayer does nothing, but HEARING that you're being prayed for apparently has an effect and in general it's not good. emotional and mental states affect physical health. i don't know the reason for it, but i can guess that many people think if they're sick enough to be prayed for it must be serious, and get nervous about that, which in turn is unhelpful to the actual condition.

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