It took a long time for the light to come on. I've learned a lot how I want to treat people from the ways I've been treated. But some of the negatives are subtle and hard to put a finger on. Being demeaned by someone who seems to be trying to be helpfull is one of the sneakiest. There seems to be a thing that happens along the "familiarity breads contempt" path that being close is a surrender of the need to be respectfull. It's a silent killer of relationships that I've observed over and over. And one that I have been saddened by the experience of. I have become sensitized to it and make it a priority to remember that respecting is the truest way to be a great lover and the one make or break condition in any friendship.