So my “major internet outage” turned out to be just me. I suppose I should be happy that the phone company considers me such a hot commodity that I'm “major.” I received a text from them this morning that said a repairman would be here on December-the-fucking-4th to repair the problem. I went to my office this morning where I have the cell phone numbers of the two Frontier repairmen in the area and called one of them. I came home this afternoon to full internet service. Dog's in his heaven, all's right with the world.