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For men on dating sites. A woman recently posted on here that it makes her uncomfortable when men message her for the first time and say hey baby, hey sexy, or hey beautiful.

I totally and completely get why it makes her uncomfortable. I have tried to constructively respond to some of the men who disagree with her....to maybe help them understand why a woman may feel it’s derogatory. Needless to say, I’ve been berated by those men to the point of being accused of not enjoying sex (what?!?!).

So men, my question is this, if your very first message to a woman is “hey sexy,” what are your intentions? 1) are you looking for a relationship? 2) just looking for sex? 3) do you actually think that is a compliment? 4) are you aware that women, even model perfect women, have brain and can think and carry on an intellectual conversation?

Marcie1974 8 Nov 26
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54 comments (51 - 54)

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equal rights,men didnt burn bras so stop whinning

I’ll quit whining when 1) women don’t have to fear sexual assault when they are alone in public or 2) men are sexually assaulted as often as women.....equal rights you know

@Marcie1974 ::: stats from 2013: "Last year the National Crime Victimization Survey turned up a remarkable statistic. In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men. "

[slate.com]

@Jacar interesting article. I’d be interested to see the statistical change for assault against women without actual penetration.

I’m curious about when a man reports abuse, if women, police, judges, lawyers, etc. ask him what he was wearing, if he’d been drinking and how much or why he was drinking, why was he at that particular location, etc.

But I get it....poor men are the victims

@Marcie1974 . . .as with women, most men do not report. one of the reasons is because they are embarrassed. And, yes, they get shit from the men. We don't know much about this because there is no coverage about it, and no movies about. So it is thought to not be an issue.

"But I get it....poor men are the victims" I assume you are being satirical. So, good one.

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Fiquei curioso

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Could be shallow individual looking for like to form meaningless relationship?

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So, what are we supposed to say in a place that provides no access to an elaborate profile, and the opportunity to a lengthy written introduction.

How about, "Hello," and then wait for a response?

How about hello, do you like “insert hobby”

Or, "Hello, your profile bio says you are into bla bla bla, and I enjoy that, too..."

@Marcie1974 . . ."insert hobby" yes.

@Marcie1974, @Deb57 . . . I was referring to a public forum and meeting a stranger. But that may work.

Or hello (name)... I'm Chris...i like your profile...i especially like that you are interested in (subject)... tell me more please...

@Falcone17east . . . that would sound stalky to a stranger in a public place. Don't ya think?

@Jacar how is that"stalky"...I receive messages like that and I much prefer those kind over the "Hey sexy" ones...shows they just might be interested in the actual woman attached to the pussy....

@Freespirit64 . . . In a public place a stranger says to you, "Hello, I read you profile. We have a lot in common."

How did they know who youare? How did they get access to your profile? Which one?

That would be stalky to me.

@Jacar I thought we were discussing internet contact, not face time...

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