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I was told today that the reason why I didn't want a bully in my life is because I am delusional, paranoid, and hang on to the past.

This makes me sad not because it's true (which by the way it isn't), but because since I have a diagnosed mental illness, they believe I should allow ANYONE to treat me any way they please.

I can't do it any more.

It wouldn't be that bad if this person actually took responsibility for what they did, but as far as they are concerned, they are never wrong. I'm suppose to do exactly as told when told, and to never question why. When I do push back, they hang up and refuse to speak to me for months, and when THEY believe that I've "come to my senses" (in other words see the light and the error of my ways), they will contact me, and act as if nothing has happened.

The bottom line is, I have a mental illness. Just because I have said mental illness does NOT mean people that supposedly love me can shit on me. I'm 60 years old; too old to continue this song and dance. I would rather have them out of my life than to continue this toxic, one sided relationship.

Oh, and for those who believe that family is everything; the person doing this is my sister. She has terrorized, bullied, and blackmailed me since I was a child. So don't tell me I should play nice and let it go. I've been doing that for almost 60 years. Enough is enough.

kiramea 7 Dec 10

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Bullys and jerks will often pick people they feel are "safe" to abuse. Just sorry it took so much of your life to reject it...really hard to go against family, even when they are so very wrong. Good for you.


Completely agree with you, and you sound saner than most people, frankly.

A wise person once told me that mental illness isn't a license to be shitty to people, and I'd also suggest that mental illness isn't a license for others to be shitty to you, either.


Good for you for standing up for yourself! No one deserves to be treated poorly, even if it's "family."


Dang! It really sounds like SHE has a mental illness and could be the delusional one!

FWIW: I don't want a bully in MY life because I don't deserve the abuse. No one does!

Zster Level 8 Dec 11, 2018

Good for you for having the courage to walk away. Family is NOT everything if they are hurting you. I had an abusive father and stepfathers and stepmother and so of course, I married an abusive man. It took me decades to realize I deserved better.


I’m a schizophrenic and I can honestly say that the mentally ill do get treated like shit. My family hardly understands me and I get condescended to all the time. I get treated like shit just for expressing myself and everything I say is usually dismissed, even if I have something important to say. I’m crazy so I must be wrong all the time and just plain stupid. Can’t start a relationship because of my mental illness. Who wants to be with a schizo? They all think I must be a serial killer or something.

I have Borderline Personality. My youngest son has Aspergers. One of the things she likes to do is play the "my daughter is more disabled than your son" (her daughter is mentally retarded).

She acknowledges my mental illness by gaslighting me. Everything she does has the excuse of "if I wasn't mentally ill/delusional/crazy I would see she is trying to help me".

Fuck her.


Oh, man--I feel you. I recently went no-contact with my mother because her co-dependency-borne defensiveness means she'll keep putting people at risk for abuse and exploitation. And I'm the bad guy. It's been a peaceful last few months, since I've taken that slice of gaslighting, petty, vindictive crazy off my plate.

I feel sorry for people who are still trapped in the delusion that "family" is a free pass to abuse and exploit. I'm so glad I grew past that.


Good for you. The group for Abuse Survivors might be useful to you, for support. I’m glad you are standing up and refusing abusive treatment

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