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Sorry for the absence here. My mental health went a bit of the rails and finals didn’t make it better. I’m doing better especially that I’m on winter break.
Anyway, I wanted to give those of you who commented or were curious on my coming out to my boyfriend post.
Yesterday I told him. I didn’t plan on it but it just happened. I cried from fear but I was honest. I told him I no longer believes but I’m willing to change my mind if presented with good quality evidence. I told him I’m still the same person who loves animals and wants to help others. Although, he didn’t agree with me because he still believes in a few things about religion, he told me he didn’t care and it didn’t have to change anything.
The most important thing he said is, “ I love you for you not because you’re religious.” Those are the words I needed to to hear. I was afraid, and still am, afriad because I think what if people only love me because I fit into their own box if what is sociably acceptable. That’s not love.
Now that he knows I feel a lot better. Even though not everyone knows at this point, I feel like coming out to him was definitely practicing on having those hard conversations with my family and friends later.

chlorine413 6 Dec 20
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Glad to hear you are doing better and your bf was cool about things. -This is a little off topic, but could (or would) you transfer to a secular university?

I have thought about it. The problem with private colleges is that some units from different schools don’t transfer. I wanted to try and get out but most of my units won’t transfer to most colleges. If I was to transfer I’d basically have to start as a freshman and the last two years would be for nothing. I might as well just finish the rest of it out. It sucks but I’m just going to try to enjoy it as much as I can.

@chlorine413 I understand that. I graduated from a Christian college as I was deconverting. I would have much preferred to have transferred to a secular school however there were just too many credits that would have been lost. Does your skepticism ever enter into your papers, class discussions, etc. ?

@KingofHarts it does at times, depending on the professor, but mostly in papers. I’m really lucky that my college is more accepting like there’s gay people here but they just ask you not to be very vocal about it but they won’t kick you out. It sucks but I can be an atheist and still be allowed to attend. It’s definitely not ideal but that’s also one thing that’s kind of making me stay. I’m not being discriminated or losing my scholarships cause I’m an atheist.

@chlorine413 That is good that they are more on the accepting side than some of the more conservative christian universities. At the school I went to I knew that the business majors did not necessarily have to be Christians, which was helpful in my decision to graduate from there. Did you have to sign a statement of faith with your initial application?

@KingofHarts During my application I had to write my testimony and I was religious at the time so I had no issue with it. I read the handbook after getting an acceptance letter and I knew it said if you’re anything other than a straight Christian male/ female then you must keep it to yourself. It’s pretty much saying they don’t want any atheist groups or clubs that can convert people.

@chlorine413 I had to write something similar when I initially applied to the school I graduated from. I left for a time and came back (as a skeptic) to graduate with a new major. I can understand why you would stay closeted about your skepticism/atheism. I never told anyone that I did not believe right up to graduation (I was intent on keeping a pretty good GPA in tact). Even since then, I have never told anyone that I graduated with. How did you decide on the school that you go to? Is it an evangelical christian college?

@KingofHarts I applied the this school as a back up school. Little did I know that my parents already made up their mind in where I was going. I wanted to go to UC Merced or Cal State East Bay and I got accepted to both. I live in Southern California so moving to Northern California would be a huge change but I wanted to go. My parents never said “you are going to this school” they just made it very difficult for me to go to any college that isn’t an hour or two drive away from my house. So I came here. It was really hard and I still get angry thinking about it but I’m trying to make the best with what I have.
We are required to go to chapel at least once a week and during that time they’re more focused on encouragement. They do know that some people here are not Christian and there’s a bit of effort to convert them but it’s not like people are searching for atheist people so they can convert them. So to answer you’re question, yes it’s evangelical but more moderate evangelical. I hope that makes sense.

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Nice work, and good on him. You can tell him all the atheists like him now.

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Kudos to you. It must have been difficult and you were brave.

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High Five

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I don't know you but I bid you welcome back.

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It is nobody's business whether you believe or not. Good on you for telling him. When it comes to your family you don't need to make a big deal of it, just say that no I do not believe and no I am not coming to church with you. Stick to your guns.

Thank you

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Hope things work our for you.

Thank you

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