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Ladies, I have a question just for you:

(I should I suppose, qualify this-I am addressing this mainly to heterosexual ladies, although gay men and trans/gender-fluid persons should feel free to participate if they desire)

What qualities do you find make a man "beautiful"? I know this is a highly subjective question, and I am not searching for universal truths, here. But I find that discussions of feminine beauty are all-too-common, indeed, crammed down our throats daily via advertising, television, movies and magazines. That territory is over-traveled.

I am not speaking of the "idols" here (Jason Momoa, I'm looking at you....), but rather of the ordinary men you encounter in your day-to-day life. Is it grooming, the style of clothes, a certain physique, personal comportment....what?

Deveno 7 Dec 29
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14 comments

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0

As i a guy I've always wondered what the women see from men posting.

0

Kind eyes that make lots of contact, a quick smile, the way he carries himself, evident compassion. These are things I find beautiful and attractive.

Deb57 Level 8 Jan 2, 2019
0

Eh, Jason Momoa, psssh. Maybe he's a nice guy who knows.

I was thinking about this the other day, what is it that separated my favorite loves in life. One thing that occured to me is they all had/have a spark in the eye and a wide range of facial expressions, which probably ties into wit/humor along with just good genetics.
While it's not enough to be pretty it appears that a lot of men have a type of dysmorphia where they add like 10 pts to their self image appearance-wise. All you have to do to confirm that is look at all the profile pics where the women are trying to not appear to be slobs vs the men with grimaces etc, just letting it all hang out with what looks like to be no fux to give.... or anyone around them willing to take a photo.

Very few of the women smile either. It's the guys with no shirts that crack me up.

@Sticks48 Yeah but grimacing?!
And those too, the shirtless ones.. I started a collection of them to show my girlfriends 😆

@Qualia A lot of the women look like they used their mug shot or they are in a lineup.

@Sticks48 Oh yeah? Msg me them! 😛
I've got a whole stash!

0

He's funny, self-deprecating, comfortable in his own skin, communicative, patient, kind, intelligent, honest, vulnerable, compassionate... And he sees me.

0

If he treats me as someone special. Humor & dancing = bonus points.

3

For me, a main one is the way someone moves through the world - literally. Maybe because I've worked with all sorts of animals most of my life - I read bodies more.

Think back to the movie "Bridges of Madison County". Francesca (Meryl Streep), shows annoyance when her husband and kids come in the house and let the screen door slam. Then Robert Kincaid comes along (Clint Eastwood), and that's one of the things that draws her in - he moves like a cat, smoothly, quietly, aware of his surroundings. He closes the screen door without a sound ...

I find that sort of thing beautiful. Along with a solid , confidant stance. And well shaped hands. And a certain voice, that causes me to imagine it saying my name ...

@Donotbelieve Thank you !

@PalacinkyPDX referring to his character only

2

I agree with the pattern that is emerging here -- generally for women substance is more important than the packaging. As someone who just turned 70, it's all gonna go south in time, anyway -by which I mean gravity is less and less your friend. But character, kindness, humor, and intelligence don't change over time. If you insist on physical traits I find appealing, it's eyes that sparkle with wit and compassion, and strong hands.

0

Personality definitely. I mean after a certain age, when wrinkles attack the body and it all goes south, what else is there.

I defer to the esteemed Benjamin Franklin's opinions on the matter.

1

The most important things to me are intelligence, kindness, compassion and honesty above physical traits. I am a tallish woman at 5’10” and prefer to date men at least that height. I think glasses are sexy, carries themselves well. I’m more reserved so if someone is too brash, I will withdraw even more.

1

Kindness, compassion, generosity, vulnerability, honesty, self-assurance, ability to be present. IDGAF about "looks".

I won't pretend there aren't physical characteristics I enjoy pervily admiring, but they simply aren't important.

Beauty isn't all about looks. Facial expressions, personal quirks, gestures, stance, force of personality, one's sense of style, all these contribute.

0

I will assume that you are speaking of physical beauty since you made a comparison to feminine beauty of TV, movies and magazines. I would say evidence of health: good teeth, toned muscles, groomed hair and beard, and attention to clothing. Anything that looks like possible depression, like slobby clothes or lack of a shower is not physical beauty.

There are many physical "flaws" I find charming, but I have to say, bad teeth are a deal-breaker for me. I wish it weren't so, but it is.

I am reading a book called "The Search For The Beautiful Woman" about standards of beauty in the Asian world. There is an old Chinese proverb quoted in it:

"In a lover's eyes emerges a Xi Shi" (a famous beauty of the 6th century BCE).

I ask myself: is a Marilyn Monroe an icon because she was such a perfect physical specimen? I would argue, no-there is much more to the story: personality, poise and carriage all have their parts to play.

We seek something that speaks to us, and I daresay it is different for every human.

My perception is we all have this love/hate relationship with our bodies-you can't just buy a new one, and we are so often disappointed with what the genetic lottery has dealt out. Revlon and Gillette don't stay in business purely through mass hypnosis.

There's no "wrong answer". I'd like to hear what people THINK.

2

For me, it's the eyes, deep, yet soft. A small stubble, and good strong hands. Oh, and good teeth. That's the physical part; now what really piques my interest is intelligence, a good, clear mind, wittiness, and able to carry on a conversation beyond the usual small talk, which just bores me to tears.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said.

2

It's not physical. It's intelligence, empathy, kindness, thoughtfulness, and a sense of humor. It's not being a stereotypical male, but instead being comfortable in his masculinity, not being threatened all the time by imagined "slights" to it. Grooming is good, of course, but it's really NOT physical or style. Except no mullets.

Orbit Level 7 Dec 29, 2018

I agree with everything stated. Also no confederate garb or regalia.

1

kindness and intelligence. they shine through the eyes and make a man, or any kind of person, beautiful, physically beautiful. this sort of thing actually does become visible to the naked eye, at least to those attuned to it.

g

A thought-provoking answer.

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