After a year that saw four major surgeries on my back, nerve damage to my left leg, being confined to a wheelchair, having to give up hiking/running/golf/weightlifting, and severe depression that drove me to feel suicidal, I decided before my fourth surgery that I would accept the outcome and move forward and focus on being positive and optimistic.

I've stuck to that. I pushed myself to exit the wheelchair (just took it apart and placed it in storage), I am now walking again - about four miles each day. I'm estranged from my wife now and starting to feel more positive about that. I allowed myself to grieve and be aware that I cannot make someone else my source for happiness. Not even a 'little' bit. I deserve better than that, and they deserve better than to feel pressured to perform in that capacity. Talk about 'Performance Anxiety'!

I'm not saying that thinking positive and being optimistic even when faced with the worst possible outcome will alter the outcome or provide some magical remedy. Let go of that expectation and embrace the current circumstance as a challenge to create a positive outcome and believe in the power you have inside you. I believe in the power inside you, and you should, too.

Happy New Year! Stay strong and POSITIVE!