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So the winter holidays are always emotional for me. Old memories of youth and siblings and snow. Some really good memories and some not so good. I have never enjoyed the hustle and bustle and commerce driven faux holiday . I do enjoy people but I am half extrovert half introvert. I had my first grandson over the holiday but as always I enter the new year with a sense of melancholy. I think it is mostly the dark and rain that bother me.

This year my goals are
To lose some weight
Retire at the end of the year
Make my sales goal
Get to know my grandson
See someplace new outside the usa

How about you what is your goal?

Bigwavedave 8 Jan 2
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1

Congratulations on your new addition to the family. My goal,as usual, is to take better command of my finances in Hope of being able to retire a bit early. Other than that, eat less and move more is my mantra for the new year.

Retire early and move more ... great plan!

0

Wonderful to set goals...and then make a plan on how to achieve them...

And what are your goals?

@Bigwavedave My main goal is to get all of my ducks in a row to be able to retire and move to NC.

I list each goal with an action plan of how to achieve that goal...it is pretty detailed, ha ha

1

I understand about the rain and gloom of winter. I leave up my xmas tree and lights until Jan 6th in an effort to dispel that. As far as goals, I've got a new challenge at work coming up next year (Dept head) and my goal is to do that right!

Orbit Level 7 Jan 2, 2019

What metrics will you use to determine how well you have done?

@bigwavedave If the faculty don't hate me, and I meet all the administration's deadlines LOL. That was kind of a flip answer but it's close to the truth. You ask a very good question, and I need to think about that.

3

I have had the dubious privilege of learning to fly solo after my prior wife's death, so I know whereof you speak. I personally found, with my very modest social needs, that just having some in the flesh human contact on a more or less daily basis made a big difference (I'm a 100% telecommute and so have only virtual contact with my colleagues 99% of the time).

At that point in my life, I had morning coffee with a large group of men, a handful of which showed up each day. That might or might not involve conversation and only occasionally led to other outings or activities with individuals in the group; it was a touchstone though. The other thing that made a big difference to me that might well not matter for others, is that I said screw it and turned all the lights in the house on at night. It pushed the dreariness outside the four walls somehow. It wasn't that I was afraid of the dark or even overtly lonely or depressed or subject to seasonal affective disorder, it was just inherently subtly oppressive to me so I spent an extra 50 cents a day on electricity to dispel that.

Your goals look well-balanced, and retiring at the end of the year is something to look forward to if you prepare so that the sudden change doesn't leave you at loose ends. I commend this article to you toward that end:

[brainpickings.org]

I read that this weekend...a really good read since I am retiring in a few months!

3

Getting out of my house once a week , and not for going to work or volunteer and such . It's sounds easy but it's not ?
Going to restaurants by my self to eat , I am tired of it . Bars are not my thing . Coffee shops are for young people who looking for to be seen and I rather my coffee w my dogs and my music anyways . Shopping is not for me , I need nothing and my friends need nothing . Besides hospital for work and shelter for volunteer I don't go anywhere , and I am tired of sick and sad people . I need to change that , and going to put some effort and come up w ideas . Bright side , I will start piano lessons next week . I hope the teacher doesn't have any medical condition that will need to discuss / ask me questions or such .

Social life? Travel?

Meetup.com is a great place to start, @Pralina1.

@ShieldMaiden_76 thank u sweetie . I might do . Do I need to have Facebook for this ? Bcz I don't , and no desire to get one again . Thank u !

@Pralina1 I have a Facebook account, but I'm pretty sure you don't have to have one for that site. Check it out. ??

4

Your goals are all admirable and very "do-able".....
I have abandoned all unrealistic expectations.....It is - what it is. 😉

My guess is that you've redefined "realistic" and "reasonable" to not include the set of hopes / dreams / aspirations you once considered doable and to be expected, given reasonable effort. I know that's what I've done. But it's the only way forward if you don't want your twilight years to be a narrative of sorrow and disappointment (and possibly, regret).

What about reasonable goals?

@mordant Sorry if I came off sounding disappointed (or possibly depressed). Comment was mostly tongue in cheek - but to clarify: I'm not running after any more ridiculously unattainable goals - I have spent most of my life doing things that I have found interesting - not putting off things "till I retire" or whatever. So my life has been a mix of good and bad - and certainly interesting. I am just going to be more here and now and in the moment and try to be open to whatever the future might bring. It might be my inner hippie emerging. 😉

@Lavergne You didn't come off that way to me at all, so no worries. What you said just resonated with me.

The way I look at it, unhappiness is simply the impedance mismatch between what you expect from life and what you get from it. It then follows that there are but two ways to reduce unhappiness and increase happiness (or at least, contentment): improve your situation or lower your expectations. And guess which one is more likely to succeed!

So I was actually admiring your adaptation. Being realistic and letting go of things based on whether they are actually improving your mood or not, doesn't equate to depression. For that matter, neither does frankly acknowledging disappointment. Living with disappointment is WAY better than attempting to live with regret. (Regret being the knowledge you didn't do what you knew to be right; disappointment being you did your best with the light you had, and it was insufficient light, or just too much out of your control to being with).

@Bigwavedave reasonable goal #1: Live to be 105....make everyone around me wonder how is that even possible. reasonable goal #2: Visit France, Italy and Greece - not necessarily in that order. That's pretty much it. 🙂 😉

@mordant ....you are exactly right. I haven't made all the best decisions over the years - but they've all had interesting consequences both good and bad. I no longer feel required to befriend people who bring me down or aren't good for my mental health. So pour me a glass of wine and tell me a joke..... 😉 Here's to a great year for us all!

@Lavergne We've been to all 3 and if you're a cultural (as opposed to beach) tourist, FWIW here are our faves from each: Greece: Rhodes (City of Rhodes, old town); Italy: Venice; France: Aix-en-Provence. Great bucket list!

@mordant Thanks for the tips....my dad was born in Venice so that one's a definite do.

1

I usually don't do new years resolutions or "goals" because like most humans, 80% from what I've read, we don't carry through. I just go one day at a time. Seems all I can handle anymore.

Very understandable

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