I think society is undergoing a much needed paradigm shift in how men and women interact on several different levels. Until we get it worked out, things are likely to be kind of uncomfortable, and a bit awkward for a while.
Btw, Hollywood is not the only place with the problem. It has existed everywhere, for a very long time. The #MeToo movement has been a long time coming, and it's not going anywhere. There have been too many people (mostly male, but some female) who have been getting away with their bullshit antics for far too long. It's going to take a minute to sort through all this bs. Don't blame women for men not knowing how, or being too scared, to approach a woman. That is not a valid argument, it's an excuse for not being able to communicate clearly and with confidence. Approaching women isn't the problem, it has never been the problem.
If some men and women can't handle the changes happening, that's on them. Would you prefer going back to the Victorian-era practices of courtship? Btw, those only worked for the upper classes. Regular people still met and courted the same way they always had.

I am shy with this sort of thing and it's precisely because what you said. I'm afraid that if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing it will end badly for me.

Did he ask you to GIVE him a cup of coffee, or to have one with you? If the former he may simply have had some bad experiences with people being threatened by (or just being rude to) a beggar. If the latter, maybe he was in the habit of approaching total strangers with no context with such offers and doesn't understand how that might be viewed with some suspicion. Either way he probably was socially inept and not entirely sure what he did wrong.

Since I don't see most men acting like the woman has a gun when introducing themselves, I conclude that this particular incident wasn't related to #metoo. In fact ... you say it was "at the time" when you were 30 or so, so it was probably before the #metoo phenomenon, right? I mean, that's less than a year old.

I think any man who's changed the way he interacts with women in the wake of Weinstein, Cosby, et al either doesn't understand the situation or is a piece of shit. However, I would try to be considerate when approaching a strange woman. It's understandable that anyone, especially a lone woman, would be on edge in the right (wrong) circumstances.

Women are not here to appease men. If men feel threatened by #metoo, then perhaps there's a reason they feel that way. Approaching a woman in a parking lot while her hands are full and her children are around her is not at all a smart thing to do. What else is a woman supposed to think if a man she doesn't know approaches her in that situation? Most women would assume the guy has possible harm on his mind. Even if the woman was child-free, had no packages and was just walking to her car, being approached by a strange guy is not ok. There are times and places where guys can meet women, such as at a singles event, a meetup group, online dating, a bar or club. Guys don't need to approach women they don't know in parking lots, and the fact that this guy did would immediately set my radar off. If he can't find a date through other dating venues and feels the only way he can meet women is by approaching them in parking lots, that strongly suggests to me that he isn't a guy you want to spend a lot of time with. I'm glad his intentions were, essentially, innocent and he just wanted to ask you out for coffee. But it worries me that he felt the only way he'd have a chance at getting a date was through the shock factor of approaching a woman he doesn't know in a parking lot. To quote Canadian author Margaret Atwood, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." For the men: don't be that guy.

Men have to deal with the stigma of being wrong during the 11 seconds of fame. It is true (at least from my point of view at 50 years old). "Treat others that you yourself would be treated" no longer seems relevant because of the #metoo.

I would Never blame a guy for respectfully asking fr coffee or a date....altho your parking lot scenario is iffy at best! But if I say no thank you, anything beyond that is inappropriate, period. Women have been raised to worry about other's feelings and anyone who takes advantage of that is a nasty piece of work!

While I tend to believe most accusations of grossly unnappropriate behavior towards some simply because of the number of accusers, I also tend to be outraged at the potential for abuse by some women who might not be truthful, and I am still a believer in "due process". Case-in-point: Duke lacrosse team. Just sayin'.

I don't think I'm going to have any further problems, as it still takes all the courage I can summon to even talk to girls in the first place.

Men already have poor reputation among women, I just don't want to feed the "creep" stereotype. So I wait for a genuinely interested girl to show signs before I approach her.

Yep

It's interesting, and enlightening to hear women's perspectives on this whole subject. The answer is a big YES, we're now paranoid as fuck. And I'm not even on the look-out for a female partner.

It takes nothing more than an accusation to ruin a man's life. This misuse of the the #meetoo movement could end up being its undoing.

And interestingly, the most criticism for this observation comes from men, even here in this web site.

It's good that men now have to stop and consider the consequences of their actions. It's about time.

I have no problem "approaching" women. My only desire is getting to know who she is as a person, and sharing who I am. Occasionally, that initial conversation turns into more, and every once in a while, those conversations lead to more. I can never have too many real and honest friends. I could not be less interested in "hookups". And, I have the benefit of not being accused of anything inappropriate. When you respect people, you don't treat them as objects.

My friends tell me I'm not typical of males.

Simple answer, yes. Even with cases like Aziz Ansari who went on a date with someone and left. The tried to sue saying that they felt 'uncomfortable'... So even when it feels mutual, you never know...

A terrifying situation is now made worse as you have to worry if the lady you are interested in us going to call the police f she doesn't like you

Both sex are falt for this. I don't blame him for doing what he did. It's because a lot of women tend to be nervous with a guy walking up to them in places that don't tend to have a lot of people. Meanwhile there have been a lot of men who have given women a reason to have that fear. Even in public place a lot of men tend to be nervous/scared to speak to a woman that they don't know for fear of scaring them.

I'm not worried about legel stuff, just about not knowing how to go about flirting. I guess I could watch a youtube video or something, but I'd rather just connect in an intellectual way.

I think it depends on where the niceties take place. I can't really stand the idea of being nice to women at work because of fear. It is easier at a bar. Life was easier in high school when I wasn't afraid to hit on my fellow students. I had a gorilla pimp friend who would walk up to a single girl and just make out with her. He was ugly but it worked sometimes.

Men don't approach me.

I think it's become more and more difficult to speak to a woman without seeming like a complete perv. Which is sad, because I think a lot of great things in life can happen spontaneously and at random. The nicest women I have met appeared in my life when I stopped trying to find them.

Men are pretty unsecure animals. True story... first girl I met in Crete... she was from Norway. I been drinking... I approached her and she say hi... I attempt to speak to her and spit on her by mistake of course due intoxication... her reaction is as expected... You spitted on me! So I just said... I am sorry, I been drinking and I am Puerto Rican I am used to Rejection. She said you are Puerto RIcan? Figure out the rest of the story but what I meant to say to the guys is watch "Carlito's Way" and the scene when his girl tell him... "if you don't get in, you don't get it". I had met women in the most ridiculous ways. But the key is... I had met them. I had Royally Fumbled on first dates, like spilling a drink on her on our first thing, we still got married and had 3 kids together. Just be Sensitive to know when She Said No, she meant No. And Remember... "You show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will find you a man tired of her shit". We are Nothing but Humans after all... Flawed Humans.

Probably fear of rejection. I flirt a lot! But never seem to go past that.

It definitely make me think twice, especially at work. I think these a-holes like Weinstein deserve it, but it certainly sends a chill down my spine. I have worked with some real batshit crazy women in my past. It goes both ways.

I am usually reserved. I hate rejection, so avoid its possibilities as a basic behavior. However, if a woman is friendly, I will respond with like-kind behavior. I will even admit that I like it when a woman pays attention to me - I'm usually responsive (if I'm available). If I'm not available, I'll accept friendship if I find her attractive.

Fear of rejection maybe, at least in my experiences