The Ten commandments of Evangelicalism

Rule 1 If it is fun it is probably a sin so don't do it
Rule 2 If it is not fun, it might still be a sin so don't do it unless a Pastor tells you to
Rule 3 If you have money God wants it, to save you from using it for sin
Rule 4 Thinking will give you Cancer
Rule 5 Send money
Rule 6 You must own a Bible, but you must never read it, that's what Pastors are for
Rule 7 Always go to church on a Sunday bring money
Rule 8 Using the internet will give you AIDS
Rule 9 Always vote republican, Democracy is a sin
Rule 10 Pastors are good men so never tell anyone anything that they may or may not have done to you when alone with you or in the company of another holy man, or else you will make baby Jesus cry and your privates will wither and drop off.