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So I was on this single's site the other night, and saw an ad from a decent looking guy, saying he was looking for FWB. Every now and then, I think that would work for me - so I was curious as to how, exactly, he saw that working ? He replied saying he would be in town in the next couple days, and could host , or visit - my choice. I said "whoa ! - I thought you wanted a FRIEND with benefits, it takes a little time to determine if there is enough to want to start something like this - yes ? Heard nothing after that ...

Mostly for men (women pipe up too) - is this something you could do ? Just hop in the sack with pretty much anybody who responded to your ad, without any preamble at all ? There's no judgment here - I am truly curious.

And not a moral issue either, since in my distant past, I acted spontaneously more than once - but this is now. Maybe I've been watching too much "Criminal Minds", but it all seems a whole lot riskier ...

evergreen 8 Jan 22
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14 comments

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0

I've had FWB relationship's, this ain't it. This is a hook up. I've also had a hook up. Not my proudest moment, and usually something I try to forget.

Eh - don't beat yourself up over it. Sometimes ya just gotta satisfy the itch ... doens't make you a bad Gal at all !

1

That's not even a Fuck Buddy!

1

To be honest, whenever men have sex. Something in their brains will malfunction, and then they will believe you belong to them. That would ruin the friend part, in FWB. And if that is not the case, they'll just want sex, no friendship. This is why F**kbuddy is a thing.

Men are not the only ones susceptible to that issue.

@beenthere yes but she is mostly referring to men

5

That’s a hookup not a “FWB.”

5

Women more often avoid sleeping with strangers because the (albeit small) risk of being murdered outweighs the (also small) chance of a stranger giving you an orgasm.

2

If it's someone you know and are already friends with, then it's not so risky in a dangerous sort of way, but it's still risky. Some people can have sex and keep a certain amount of distance. Others simply can't. It's hard to know which partner might end up with more attachment than either intended at the onset of a FWB relationship.

0

While it seems like it is always on, there are some influences which raise the intensity of the male sex drive. Female pheromones, visual stimulation and testosterone production to name a few. When these influences come together it can create some very intense desires which can overcome good judgment.

5

I feel like this kind of relationship would have to develop with someone who is already a friend or an acquaintance with whom you develop a sexual connection. I don't think it's easy to do this with a total stranger. Part of the benefit in FWB for me would be the safety of a familiar friend whom I know would care about me enough to make sure I wouldnt get hurt or taken advantage of.

2

No. And I don't think FWB is something that would work for me, although sometimes I think it would be easier.

10

My understanding of FWB is not "hop in the sack with pretty much anybody. . . . "

My understanding of FWB (I really could be wrong) involves people you respect and trust to a level that they have entered your friend circle and you have likewise entered their friend circle.

That's kind of my interpretation too .

6

I’ve tried FWB, for a short time. It just feels like I gave much more than he did; the benefits were mostly to him. He’d buy dinner here and there and really, no friendship. He just wanted sex.
Sex is great, but I need some kind of connection, is what I learned about myself.

5

He obviously doesn't know what FWB actually means. He just wants the "benefits." I've never tried a FWB relationship. But it seems to me that it is something that would evolve, not something you advertise for.

OHJim Level 5 Jan 22, 2019
2

Yes! Red flag!

actually, no flags at all - not gonna happen !

5

That guy was looking for a quick fuck in my opinion. The world is a scary place for women, and I would be very careful if I chose that method to find a partner. I always remember what my doc told me way back when I was young and foolish. "Remember, every person that man has slept with may not have been without disease, and you could pick something up from him." It hit home for me when my best friend got herpes from a guy she met and slept with a few times.

Diseases can be some of the side "benefits' as well - but there's worse. From some of the stories I've heard - things can happen to men too. Like robbery and murder. Too crazy out there now !

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