Some bad days can turn into bad weeks, months, maybe even years - my bad day hasn't finished, yet, so I'll let you know later. Those of you that see me regularly have probably noticed some changes in me over the last two months, some of these changes are actually reversions to a previous state. Don't call it recidivism.

It all started with the end of my PhD and the end of a struggle that I'd been using as a way to define myself for years. With less external stress to work against and nothing superficial to define myself by, I started to think a bit more about my life and what meaning it could hold moving forwards. Do call it an existential crisis.

See I don't really like labels, but for a while, many years ago, I kinda had one. That label was bisexual. It sort of worked, for a little bit, with a few people, until the wrong people saw it. Then I took it off and tried my best to forget about it. That actually worked surprisingly well, but it made me second guess everything.

I started worrying about how I sat, how I moved my hands, what I wore. I even changed the tone of my voice, but I maintain that that was more about the fact that white men should sound like Frank Black, not like Barry White- there is nothing effete about my natural voice. Anyway it's not like any of this stuff mattered a damn to the outside world, it was all about my own sense of embarrassment and shame.

I still don't like labels. But, you might label this a coming out, for what it's worth.