It's not stupid, it's what you need to know or not.....I cannot operate boilers - my parents, my father in laws, my neighbors, because I have not lived with one for over thirty years. But I can light a fire anytime, anywhere and keep a stove going on peat or wood and even cook on one because that's what I am used to.
You are multi talented, not Superwoman !

You can learn to do pretty well anything with a little help. Try googling the problem or looking for a helpful video on Youtube or elsewhere. You sound as if you are perfecty competent - just not used to doing certain things,

Hang in there! Call for help ?

Hang in there there must be someone who can show you these things!

My house is all electric, just in case we have a kerosene heater I can feel your pain ?

Can we help with instructions or a YouTube video? Or do you require a handyperson?

If you can do all those things? You have pattern recognition skills and dexterity - so you sure as heck could learn.

That sounds like the list of a very intelligent capable woman. What kind of heater is it? Does it use a boiler or maybe do you need to light the pilot?

not fun! sorry