After my 7 year marriage/24 year marriage split up, I went through some emotions. The strongest of which turned out to be relief. Then I spent a few months getting to know me. Then I spent a few months getting to know other people. It's rough at first, but was a good thing in my life.

I suppose it depends on if it was a mutual breakup, who dumped who, and the circumstances.

You learn and grow from it. Learn what went wrong which is of course a long process. Appreciate what went right and grow with the realizations that come to you with the process of healing over time. I've been separated for almost 5 years and there are still waves of realization and lessons that come to me. The human mind can't magically healed of emotional sorrow or trauma any more than a physical wound. It takes time. It heals. It may scar, may feel different or have sensitivity in that area, but know that you will heal and be stronger for it if you choose healthy mental habits. Just like a wound, the mind can help or hinder the healing process. Choose healthy distractions, learn to live yourself and things in your life that spark joy for you, avoid simmering in negative thoughts unless you are analyzing specifically to improve your own behavior going forward. You got this.

I never got over it.

Spend time and mental resources to carefully analyze why the relationship lasted seven years and why it ended. What was your significant other's role, what was your role in the health and demise of the relationship.

Let yourself grieve and do not push away the friends that tell you to get up and out.

I had an interesting conversation with a man who was in the process of divorcing. He didn't know what do do with the good feelings and memories he had for his spouse. I had been separated from my life partner for over 7 years at the time. I still saw things and thought, 'oh they would like that.' ... i honored both the good and bad memories. We didn't get into the relationship in a day, it is unreasonable to expect to be okay getting out of it in a day.

Again, grieve. That means recognizing that your ex is your ex for a reason. But they were also a part of your life for a reason. And then come to terms with the demise of the partnership (however that is, and however long it takes).

I know I literally felt I could have died from a broken heart when my ex and I split. I made a promise to myself that I would allow myself to experience every emotion. I didn't even turn on a television because it was my way of numbing myself.

Everyone copes differently, that's for sure. I did do an inventory of what I might have missed along the way, what could I have done differently? I had forgiven infidelity several times; I can tell you I wouldn't tolerate it at all now. I filled the hole in my heart with doing volunteer work, journaling and bottom line, rebuilding my life.

I'm so sorry about your loss but you will get through this if you give yourself the time to heal.

I cried for a few months, was pissed for a few more, then got used to it and have moved on.
It wasn’t as easy as it sounds, and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

@PatrickKerr....it's painful..mine was 27 yrs. I suggest not dating for a year and get back in..but I am not a professional. That's just what I did and seems to work.