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Has anyone ever told anyone they love them when they don't? I have an issue with the 'I love you' thing and tend to smudge it, 'wuvu'. Its not that I don't, I just can't let my mouth say the words (Except for my children). It really bothered my ex hubby. It just wasn't a north of England thing. You say 'I do' once n thats it. I just couldn't possibly imagine faking it. It came up in conversation today when my colleague said her ex told her he had never loved her. How cruel. What do you think?

Amisja 8 Feb 26
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If you feel it, say it.

If I genuinely love someone, I will tell him. I will never use powerful words like I LOVE YOU if I really don't mean them.

If man tells me he loves me, it's fine and dandy. What matters most to me is how I feel about him because at least I know MY feelings for him are true. If he should change his mind, at least I held steady and true to my words.

My ex said I was 'basically unloveable'. Perhaps he was right.

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I only tell people I love them if I do. Some people, though, seem off-put by it, even if they love me back, it's like it's just hard for them to acknowledge it or say it back, which means maybe I'll say it to them less often. But I don't throw it around if I don't feel it.

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My mother says my father’s greatest expression of love was “well, I bought you snow tires”
I love you was something I didn’t hear much growing up - I don’t use it very often either - particularly in the early part of a relationship. I am a bit freer in using it with my daughter.

Exactly same here.

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The last man I briefly dated said he loved me after a week. Needy. Red flag.

Turns out he loved my cooking. He showed up every day hungry. Lied about being able to cook.

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Interesting. I was marred for 25.5 years. I told my wife 'I love you' every day. I meant it. It was not a "Hi. Hello. How are you? -- daily ritualtion. Though it sounds like it. I also gave her a hug along with the statement. When we decided to get divorced, we stopped saying that.

My ex stopped telling me...one week...obe week before he dumped me.

@Amisja I'm sorry. Bright moments live forever within us -- some positive, some negative. While I hate the negative Bright moments, they still come at us every so often. As your countymen say "Keep a stiff upper lip." 🙂

@xyz123 Do they? My ex is American actually. Please don't be sorry he did me the biggest favour ever.

@Amisja I meant to the change itself, not the lose. I had heard 'keep a stiff upper lip' in old English movies -- so it may be an antiquated phrase to the younger generation...

@xyz123 Bless you for calling me a younger generation 😉

@Amisja I guess that's better than be cursed... 🙂

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I say this quite often and freely to my family and friends whether adults or children. But the love for them is different than being in love.

I have to fight to hold it back when in a new relationship, especially if I'm enjoying myself. It overcomes me I want to blurt it out. But I know in the beginning it's most likely infatuation. The first time I say those words to a partner, I want to be very sure, because it is such a defining moment. Once said... my partner will hear it often.

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It may just be what you were accustomed to in your formative years. It was not a phrase that my parents used much but their actions spoke louder than any words could have. I never felt unloved. They were always there for me when there was a real need. Now, it feels very forced to say those words, no matter how I might feel about a person. It just seems manipulative and codependent to me. There are many other ways to let your feelings be known. It seems appropriate to tell children that, but not between adults.

skado Level 9 Feb 26, 2019

exactly

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Now I feel like an absolute horror. Us Brits are not very demonstrative.

@OwlInASack hahaha

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I don't actually think you loved your ex all that much. I don't say that to be cruel But True Love is Amazing and when you find it You scream at the top of your lungs for all to here. Trust me my dear you will be able to say it.

I love my partner, just struggle with the words

@Amisja I wonder why that is Did your parents say I love you much? I have know others that could not say it but there usually was a reason for it

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