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On my way into the gas station of my small rural town this morning to get a coffee, a cute young lady sitting on a bench outside greeted me with a warm smile n a “hi how are ya?” I smiled back and said doin alright and yourself? “Good!”

“Either she works here, is selling something, or I just got flirted with,” I thought as I went in and paid for my coffee and gas. On the way out she said sir? I turned around n she asked “would you care to make a donation to a ministry?”

In a half second I had to run through about 8 reasons why I would not care to before I thought of something to say that was both true and polite. “Sorry I don’t have any cash on me at the moment,” I said as an act of mercy to her mood and my blood pressure, and went back to the pump.

The top 5 more important reasons that popped into my head first are:

  1. Hell no, I’m an atheist
  2. god (or his local sheep) obviously have plenty of money; I don’t
  3. the last thing we need more of in my area is expanding ministries
    4)I’d rather do something of real humanitarian value with my money
  4. maybe if there weren’t already so many damn churches within a half mile of this very store that I can’t buy a fucking beer you could convince someone that there needs to be more ministering around here, but it still ain’t gonna be me.

Hallelujah, holy fuck where’s the Tylenol?

Wurlitzer 8 Mar 1
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8 comments

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1

I threw five dollars in the salvation army bucket and the woman said 'god bless you'. I told her' I'm an atheist. But I still try to help people out'.

1

I always go with #1. But politely. No thanks. I'm an atheist. Since I've been openly atheist I find it important to be unfailingly polite as to not give atheists a bad reputation. In this tiny area I'm the only one they will probably ever meet.

1

I can tell you were so taken aback about her being a "christian" and not someone who wanted to flirt with you. What a bummer.

Eh not so taken aback by that part lol I never assume someone’s flirting with me; more often than not I realize too late if they were because it’s usually the last possibility I’d consider. But yeah still a bummer in all senses.

@Wurlitzer You should think more of yourself.

1

Several years ago my niece and her family from Texass came for a visit. They are Jehovah's Witness.She did try to proselytize once but on the way home I lost her on the ferry. Later I found the family sitting with a bunch of other Witnesses. It is illegal to openly proselytize on the ferries so these people sit with a sign saying something (how to get world peace) and let suckers come to them. I have taken hundreds of ferry trips and have never seen these people. Now, on my trips I see them often. Once, the boat was almost empty and a woman who was at her spot came over and stood in the space in front of me. She was looking out the window and every once in a while she would look at me. I didn't bite and kept on reading. She finally left.

1

Yeah, I always think of something clever and biting to say after it's too late.
Usually, I just say something like, "no thank you - I'm not interested."

1

Each of the possible 5 answers is perfectly appropriate.

2

All you needed to say is, 'No I don't' The end. No explanation required.

1

I prob would have given the same answer as I rarely have cash . But I would have like you wanted to say much more. Good restraint gotta be careful about that BP.

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