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When did you know you didn't believe?

Carlyannieo 3 Mar 11

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As I've said before I'm not sure I was ever a 'believer'. Church was just something my mom made us do. As an abusive, emotional manipulator, once she found a place she could excel I didn't stand a chance. I'm good a faking when it's in my best interest.


When I was a poor, and hungry adolescent.


Around age 9, I had started to question the logic of the teachings of our pastor. I Was just about 8 when my mother died. I had repeatedly asked why "god" allowed that to happen. The answers just didn't add up. That is when my "faith" was shaken. As I grew up, it became quite apparent that there is no "god", and that religion is simply an archaic form societal control. All of the major religions were just a method for people to live within a societal structure without having to come up with their own sense of morality, ethics, and sense of right and wrong. My "conversion" (not even sure if I ever believed, to be honest) culminated with my high school yearbook quote: "Control is an illusion bent on the destruction of society. The random variables to life's problems means the outcome is not what is expected". What that means is you can't control what happens, and the more you try the more likely you'll fail.


I can't recall ever actually believing and my parents sent me to catholic school first through sixth grade. Went to church, did the alter boy gig but just did those because it was the thing to do at the time. Can't recall ever praying to or thinking about god.


Listening to the insane conversation of classmates at our long elementary school lunch table. Sounding proud of their brand of introduced insanity, they went down the row describing ‘their religion.’ I actually felt weird not having one, for a short time 🙂

Varn Level 8 Mar 11, 2019

I would say around the year 2000. I felt so confused with the christian religion. I started reading about the American Forefathers an the Age of Enlightenment. This country was not founded on the Christian religion. I started reading about Deism and became very interested. I read Thomas Paine's 'Age of Reason' and that sealed the deal for me when it came to my unbelief in any religion.

balou Level 8 Mar 11, 2019
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