It was a Comedy of Errors and a Drama of Dementia
At one of my jobs, I am responsible for organizing and facilitating various meetings for certain causes. Which is a fancy way of saying I often work for and alongside the rich and influential in a small town.
At one such meeting, I was hosting the kind hearted of the more affluent, who wanted to help the less fortunate.
And lo I doth lay the scene: a group of highly virtuous women who could all be Methuselah's grandmother gathered together to plan how to start a charity drive.
Firstly, there is the Matron; a woman who has hair the faded blue of an Oklahoma sky. She sits at the head of the table in refined slacks and a blouse so covered in red and floral, confused bees follow in her wake.
Surrounding our fair Matron are the Seven Crones; each one blessed with glasses so thick one is left genuinely concerned if they drove themselves to this meeting and how many dead pedestrians now litter the earth.
Our meeting begins...
Matron: Ladies, as our station offers us plenty, it is within our largess to grant boon to others. I propose a charity. We will each set out to raise coin for our fellows, so that they may gain sustenance .
Crones 1-6: Aye!
Crone 7: My dearest love was a grocer; he owned the most bountiful markets and the largest fruits to please any soul!
Matron: We can begin our modest quest by gathering our resources.
Crones 1-6: Aye!
Crone 7: Calvin, god rest his soul, had the ripest of all the honeyed fruits.
Matron: Next, we will send out for champions; heralds for our cause with booming voices and far-reaching hands.
Crones 1-6: Aye!
Crone 7: My lost love would sell the most fetching of nature's goodness.
Matron: And finally, we will divide and conquer by region, so that we can better -
Crone 7: Calvin had the most succulent oranges.
Matron: Goddamn it, Marline! Whatever you're trying to say, just spit it out!
Crone 7/Marline: I thought this was a food drive... not, you know, a meeting to arrange for an annual community-wide charity event.
Crones 1-6: Aw, hell...
Marline: So, I brought one of Calvin's shipments; an entire truck full of oranges.
Matron: You... Why... What the hell are we gonna do with over 1,000 boxes of oranges?!!?
And that, dear readers, is how I have an entire box of oranges sitting in my kitchen. THIS impoverished groundling dines with the freshest of vitamin C.
Hilarious! You set the scene well with:
"Firstly, there is the Matron; a woman who has hair the faded blue of an Oklahoma sky. She sits at the head of the table in refined slacks and a blouse so covered in red and floral, confused bees follow in her wake.
"Surrounding our fair Matron are the Seven Crones; each one blessed with glasses so thick one is left genuinely concerned if they drove themselves to this meeting and how many dead pedestrians now litter the earth."
Thank you!