And people wonder why print newspapers'
appeals are slipping... ??
Here are two items found in the straight
news section of the Kansas City Sun from May 9, 1921

News just isn't as innocent and entertaining
these days. And I love the honesty of the
second title.

INNOCENCE AND AN EGG

It Was Milwaukee Man's Misfortune
That He Should Thus Have
Been Doubly Armed.

. A certain Milwaukee man bought
an egg for next morning's breakfast
late one night and placed it carefully
in the side pocket of his coat. On
The way home he met a suspicious
policeman.
. "Are you armed?" inquired the
guardian of the peace.
. "With innocence" replied the citi-
zen.
. The policeman had never heard of
that. He decided it must be some
new kind of Swiss cannon for night
use, backed the citizen against a wall
and proceeded to pat him down from head
to foot in search for lumps. Ultimately he
struck the lone egg.
. "Ah-ha!" said the cop. "I thought
so."
. What he thought was never said.
He jammed his hand down into the
pocket and the egg exploded -- wrecked
by brutality. It spread over the in-laws
side of the pocket. It clung to the
cop's fingers, stickily, gummily. The
cop pulled his hand out and backed
away.
. "I got a notion to run you in for
operatin' a shell game!" he said thickly.
"Go on -- beat it."
. "Beat what -- the egg?" asked the
man sweetly.
. The cop chased him two blocks be-
fore his wind gave out. -- Milwaukee
Journal

Really No Importance

An investigator claims to have dis-
covered in some dusty archives that
back in the days when the Pilgrims
landed each person coming to Amer
ica from England was required to
bring with them eight bushels of corn
meal, two bushels of oatmeal, two
gallons of vinegar and a gallon each
if oil and brandy. In view of the
fact that nothing of importance hinges
on the truth or falsity of this state-
ment, not much time need be consumed
to ascertain whether this is truth or
fiction