This May, I will be married for 52 years. When I met my wife, I was very experienced with woman, because I had an older woman twice my age at 18 take me under her wing, and mentor me on the right way to treat, and understand a woman. I soon learned that if your jealous, or possessive, or controlling, relationships will never work out. My wife was a virgin, and i had always gone out with very (shall we say) fast and experienced woman...sexually and other ways) I knew I had to treat her differently, be gentle and patient. We went together for 13 months, and during that time we talked about how we would raise our kids, and what our goals were. In the beginning we went to Marriage Encounter, and we chose a marriage therapist whenever we felt we were faltering. Being that she was a virgin I took my time and showed her everything i was taught to become a wonderful and considerate lover. Boy was i lucky, i tapped into hidden talents..lol Has it been perfect, of course not, but we argue fair, we sit down calmly and have great discussions, and never go to bed mad at each other. As you grow older with each other, you find that you become more dependent on each other. To this day i can't keep my hands off of her, I tell her at least 5 or 6 times a day how much I love her, as she does to me. We been through some rough waters, but we weathered the storm, and honestly, I am a very lucky man to have a kind compassionate loving woman, who very seldom says no to my wants and needs as i do her. Its hard work, but we both treated our marriage as a business, to grow and profit, and to succeed. The main thing I told her in the beginning, your not my maid, and I don't own you. You have a right to decide whats right and wrong in all our doings in our marriage. We do everything together, make the beds, cook, clean the house, etc, because i am not chauvinistic , and like some couples expect my partner to have to do it all. I really don't think I would be the man I am today without my lovely wife.

That's a tough question. I was married for almost 35 years, and still ended up being divorced. I guess I'll have to go with the obvious answer and say communication.

Never met the right one at the right time.

Good advice here.

[theatlantic.com]

Communication.

Here's the thing: People change. Two people can learn two completely different lessons from the same event, and can grow in different ways.

One certain way for a relationship to end is to assume that the person you're with is the person you married all those years ago. If you don't talk, then you'll never know how the person you're with has changed. Once you know how the person you're with has changed, then you get the fun and excitement of wooing them all over again.

It's hard work, but as long as you both grow and accept each other's changes, then the work is worth it.

The main ingredient needed is respect. Love can never last without respect for each other, that and friendship. The first early passions cannot last, but in their place something more mature and enduring can take their place, but only if respect and friendship are already there. I gave the advice to my sons when they were starting to get serious with girlfriends, that they should ask themselves if they would want to have them as friends if they couldn’t be sexual partners....in other words to like them as an individual, quite a different thing from being sexually attracted to them. With luck the sexual attraction and compatibility will last through the years, but if for any reason it wanes, a marriage can still survive quite successfully if that bond of friendship is still strong. I myself was very happily married for 37 years, when I sadly lost my husband in 2010.

Understanding each other,no power struggles, I was late to marriage at 43,low paying jobs made dating few and far between,we had 27 years, until cancer took her away from me,so marriage is a full time job,both partners must work at it.

Watch this wonderful 20-minute TED Talk by Dr. Brene' Brown, "The Power of Vulnerability."

[video.search.yahoo.com]