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I just seperated from my wife 3weeks ago...she moved to a town house across town. I'm so lonely and bored at night. I know, go for walks, exercise etc. I'm still so lonely. I'm looking for advice...

WoodyCampbell 4 Mar 6

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16 comments

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Thank you for all of the great advice... Im 47 and have always loved the open road and have always wanted to drive big rig. I think I'm going to get my CDL CLASS A license and do alot of OTR. Dream is to save money over the next 3-5 years, enough time for Tesla to work out the kinks with their electric 18 wheeler and become a owner/operator...
Thats the game plan.
You guys are great,
Thank you all again!

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You got to keep moving forward

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Only time helps, and maybe new hobbies that require a total involvement...like painting, writing or creating something. At least they helped me.

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It gets easier

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Unfortunately you need to live through those feelings..As painful as they are..hang out here and chat with people..rant if you need too..that is what community is all about..it does get easier, I know, I've been there.

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If you've got good friends who are also unattached, or have understanding mates, do stuff and hang out with them when you can. Just don't start drinking too much, hopefully you're not inclined that way. Also, start to think about things that you may have wanted to do for sometime and start doing them, like cycling, or woodworking, stuff like that; yeah, hobbies are good things to take your mind off your misery.

Things that you only did half-assed before can take up a lot of time if done right, if you're so inclined. Wish I had more for you. Just don't let this devalue yourself in your own eyes; that's easier said than done, but it can turn into a self-loathing thing if you aren't careful and let it.

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Sorry you're going through this. Never easy to adjust, and change from full speed to zero in no time at all. The void feels biggest when it's fresh. Someone to no one ...slam !
For me, I always found comfort and uplift from favored physical activities out in nature - whatever yours might be. I also wrote - got emotions out on paper and burned them ! Actually I saved a couple poems that came out of the pain. Also I searched online, and found chats and stories of people going through similar life changes. That helped a lot, and sometimes offered some useful thoughts.
Reading, movies (avoid love stories !), some upbeat friends - if you have some, all help too.

Be kind to yourself , even a few indulgences might be in order ...

1

It takes time.

Regardless of why it happened, it is a loss and needs time for grief. It also takes time to absorb the change and feel normal again in day to day life.

Reach out to people you know and do stuff. Anything. Distraction is good. It will also help you remember what things you enjoyed with friends before the relationship.

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I crafted the shit outta handmade shitty crafts.

I also just gifted you with a tongue twister.
You're welcome.

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Sorry to hear buddy. Good on you asking for help, it's not easy. This seems like a real nice community and we're here for ya mate. When I separated I didn't have any close friends to lean on so I mostly kept myself busy, I even went OCD and cleaned everything top to bottom. Time will heal, you just gotta stick it out mate, reach out to people where you can. Maybe put yourself out there a bit and join a local hobby group or similar as suggested below.

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Separating from a partner is a HUGE change in your life and routine. Itll take some adjusting to. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the odd bit of feeling down and lonely. It's ok and only natural. Try to do things you enjoy. Make a real effort to get enough sleep and take some excersise in the fresh air and sunshine if you can. Try not to cut yourself off from other people. Avoid too much alcohol or caffeine. Try and eat well and properly. Is there something you've wanted or thought about doing but not got around to? And for those times that you don't eat right or get excersise or whatever.. relax and remember that tomorrow is another day and get back on it
Good luck

I like these suggestions.

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Find a group that is about a hobby or I treat you have. Online or irl.

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When you need to be distrcted, movies are good, especilly funny ones - or video games. Eductional youtube videos are good too - various gernes for distraction, and relationship advice ones for when you keep asking "What happened? What went wrong?" Can also google for articles answering those questions, too

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And you turn to an atheist community? Well, if I am allowed to say this, welcome.

What doe's this have to do with religion though?

(OK, being a bit insensitive here guys. So shoot me already)

Oops, shouldn't have said that when so many of you have guns.

To be completely honest. I'm not sure atheism and religion even come into it. This isn't just a site for people to discuss those two topics; many of us try to support other users even though few of us have met in real life and friendships have been made here - it's a community, and a member of that community who is obviously having a rough time right now asked a question in the hope of getting good advice. Nothing unusual in that.

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Have you got friends you could stay with for a while? What I really needed when my marriage broke down (suddenly from my point of view) was just to have people around me to stop all the questions and doubt churning over and over in my mind. My situation was slightly different because our apartment was in my partner's name so it was me that had to move out - a friend and her mother allowed me to stay with them for a month and, in addition to putting a roof over my head and preventing me having to sleep in a shop doorway, they just gave me that little bit of time I needed to process such a seismic shift in my life so that it could sink in and I could start dealing with it. It sounds to me that you need something like that - friends are even better for you than walks and exercise.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 6, 2018
5

Its going to take time to process and heal.

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