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Can a relationship be described in terms of tangible objects? I thought about this during a long drive tonight. Is a good relationship like a nest or oasis? Is a bad one like a cage, trap or prison? Does this statement a friend posted elsewhere lend anything to these definitions?

Serendiphany 3 Apr 21
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11 comments

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Meh, that's increasingly true for me, but let's be honest, we connect with others (whether significant others or just casual friends) because we have some kind of (hopefully reasonable) expectations, and if those aren't met, it's going to be disappointing.

It's better to give out of a personal overflow, and not to need the other person for validation and centering, but breaking up is still "hard to do".

Also if the "other" doesn't add to your happiness then what is the point? If you don't need them, on what basis would you seek them out or prefer their company? To the extent there is a basis, then losing them is a personal loss.

In any case, mourning for such losses is more a function of how much a part of your daily routine they were, not how codependent you might have been.

I think this meme is helpful in keeping relationships "pure" and having realistic goals and bringing to them at least as much as you hope to get from them. But they're not going to remove all anxiety about the possibility of losing them, if they're valuable to you to begin with.

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Depends.

For my relationship, it feels like a nest.

I feel at home.

Give me life sentence in this prison. I need my 1 hour of sunlight, though. Hehehe...

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Was reading the other day,that younger men are not going to marry,seems the feminist movement has soured them from commitments,so soon(if not already) the cries of "All the good(marriageable)Men are gone" will echo yet again?

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It certainly resonates with me. I have always gotten a sense that if you can't be happy hanging out with yourself, you don't have a lot to offer in a relationship. except a burdinsome responsibility to be the source of their happiness. It is wonderful to meet a happy person, who is a good fit for having fun expand together.

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Many years a go I chatted on MSN Messenger with a beautiful woman. The first time we chatted she sent me a photo and we chatted for about twenty minutes. The next and last time that we chatted she said: "I think that you ought to know that I have got very expensive tastes." I replied: "I am delighted to learn about your very expensive tastes, I hope that you can afford them."

If we are meeting a need in the other or vice versa then there would seem to be a certain inequality in the nature of that relationship. Perhaps love is not possible among equals and love in the form of friendship characterizes the relationship.

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i have always thought the complete opposite -- that relationships don't even exist in advance of their subject/objects. when little girls are raised to want to be in love and be married, i think, but... but... those are not things. until you meet the person, being in love has no meaning, because that relationship is not the same between any two people, and wanting to be married is like wanting to have a certain job, no more and no less, unless you have the PERSON in the picture. then you want to be married to THAT person, and it's different. (at the very least, the job description changes!) your metaphors may have validity once the relationship exists, but until then, they're just words. now, i am talking ahout your long-drive musings, not the meme, with which i also do not agree totally, since i do not consider coupleship an addiction and do not agree that if one partner leaves the other will be as happy as if the partner hadn't left. think about it. is that freedom or just indifference? if you love someone, of COURSE you will be sad if, say, the other party dies, or leaves for some other reason. you will be the same person you were, but you will not be as happy as you were! happiness is an emotion, not a condition. if you are perpetually happy, you're on some kind of drug, or insane.

g

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I agree. It's like that saying if you love a flower, don't pick it. Love it for itself and allow it to just be....

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It can be described poorly by tangible objects.

1of5 Level 8 Apr 21, 2019
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I like it, thanks

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I’d say not, relationships evolve, tangible stuff doesn't..

Varn Level 8 Apr 21, 2019
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