So just before last Christmas my marriage failed, completely out of the blue for me, in fact she lost it and did it on a whim. We had been having a tough time in past couple of years. I had a serious medical scare in which she saved my life, it took time for me to recover and had to leave my job.
Made homeless due to our landlord wanting his property back, fair enough and then I lost my dad to lung cancer which again was a side swipe out of no where. My ex had her own back problem and with four kids between us it was mayhem. But we were so close so in love even after 12 years, a marriage that was expected to fail very quickly according to others as I married her after losing my first wife to cancer too.
The night it went wrong she threw me and my kids out on the street 5 days before Xmas, she took all the money we had so I had to borrow to get the kids something. Luckily my kids are really sensible and understood. I thought at the time she lost it that I could walk away and then sort it out but then this happened.
My daughter asked her why she was doing it as she had already lost her mum and didn't want to lose another. My wife replied by saying "I don't care, I have never cared" this destroyed my daughter to a point she is now having therapy. I don't care how angry you are you just don't say that. That point destroyed any chance of reconciliation.
The whole thing was out of character and she has even admitted that she don't it on a whim and never meant it to go this far. Even recently texting me saying she misses her hubby, i clearly miss her but won't go back as I need to put my daughters feeling first. She never ever apologised for that night and what she said.
We are now homeless and in temp accommodation which isn't too bad, I have got a job and in fact even have an interview today for a better job. Kids are happier and that's all that matters. I am finding myself again, yes a cliche saying and enjoying it. The pain is still there and will be for a while, I am not interested in finding anyone else.
The weird thing is that I keep being drawn to looking for someone even though I am adamant I want to stay single for quite a while. Looking at dating sites though I can't believe what women and men are asking for, seems you have to be perfect and have everything. Kind of glad I don't want to get into dating yet.
I don't think I will ever understand why she just popped.
Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to type it out and let of some steam.
Despite your pain, you thought of your children...that is truly an admirable and rare quality...they have held you together through this very rough time...it seems you know inside what has to be done for yourself and your children and are going for it. I wish you the best but I think you are already on the right track.
Bad things happen to good people, that is an unfortunate fact. Who knows what got into your wife, but whatever it was, you cannot overlook the unforgivable remarks she made to your daughter, they were heartless in the extreme and I hope in time she will feel less hurt by them. You are doing the right thing by moving on, hopefully that better job will be yours, and you can just look after your children and yourself for a while. Later, who knows what new lady may come into your life, but don’t be too quick to go looking, when the time is right she will probably find you,
It seems finding someone else quickly is what we think we are supposed to do. I did some searching after divorce.....best thing I did was to stop all of that and take care of my needs and my kids.
Now a couple of years later, I feel so much better about everything, myself included. It's not that I am looking for love, but I am now ready for love
That you need to let it out and at the same time you are not looking for a new partner seems to me to indicate that what you need is friends! And here we are - ready to listen and sympathise and share experiences. It sounds as if you are putting your life back together after receiving a very hard knock- back and you deserve s lot of credit for that and for the support you are giving your daughter. Keep talking to us and maybe we can help to fill a bit of the gap in your life.