I get that. My mother was an evil narcissistic bitch but was really good at playing the poor little martyr. I’m glad she’s dead.
If I get stoned for that, so be it. She damaged me beyond repair, and I don’t forgive her. I don’t feel guilty, either.
I’m sorry for your pain. Stay away from her and find what peace you can. That’s all I could ever manage.

You poor guy!

Is there at least one good attribute of your mother—at least one pleasant memory associated with her? If so, hold that good memory in your mind. It is not for her that you should do this but for your own happiness.

You wanted her to come and see you in the hospital. You had no control over her, but you can control your own feelings about the situation. Every negative thought is driving you deeper into anger and unhappiness.

I strongly recommend the book “Help Yourself to Happiness” by Dr. Maxie Maultsby Jr. It is a book that has helped me many times when I was in situations such as you describe.

It’s assumed, wrongly, that every mother has the mothering instinct. This is one of the reasons I believe absolutely in the right for women to choose abortion rather than carry an unwanted pregnancy. Who knows whether your mother wanted you or not, but she may not have. I have often wondered whether women who display no love for their children carried them for nine months as reluctant incubators. It’s every child’s birthright to be loved and wanted by his mother, and I’m sorry that yours seems not to. Don’t waste your energy on hatred, channel it into something positive and make sure any children you have know that you love and want them. Hatred is like a cancer, it’s eats you up from inside, don’t allow it to do so.

Mine did not make life easy, either.. Has yours been diagnosed with a personality disorder? I’m pretty sure mine has one, always will.

We’d like to think they did their best, but at what - making life difficult for their son showing the most rebelliousness ...like his mom?

Didn’t call or contact mine ‘today,’ fuckin hallmark holyday.. But, she’s cool about that, hates it too. Hated being a mother, that’s for sure. Just don’t pass it on, if possible ~

I could easily say the same thing about my father with some changes made:
I hate my father more than I hate anyone. The evil bastard made me suffer all my life and gave my mother no peace. I consider him my biological father, nothing more. He is an evil bastard who preys on anyone weaker . . . . The evil, child molesting, abusing, bastard is still alive, but I will have a fucking party when he dies! The world will be a better place when he is no longer part of it.

Those who do not "get it", do not, because they have not lived it . . . and have no clue . . .

You hate your mother for bringing you into a horrible existence?

Thats like blaming the dinosaurs for modern oil consumption.

No one can chose the circumstance under which they come to exist, only the choices we make when we exist. We are all responsible for what we make of our lives, whatever that is, and blaming the past for your failure to move on and make amends is not your mothers fault.

How awful for you. I am curious as to how it has affected your future relationships.

Everyone deserves a loving supportive mother but not everyone gets one. I"m grateful for my mother and have a wonderful loving relationship with my 4. I never stop thinking how lucky I am to have such wonderful sons. So my heart goes out to you.