A young man loosened his tie in a church and was told by an elderly minister he was sowing disrespect to the almighty. The same young man started eating a sandwich after church and the minister told him he deserved to choke on it, for no one had said 'grace' yet.
Guess what? That young man never returned to church. He did make an appearance from across the road with his tie around his head like a headband, to make a point to the stuffy minister.
Finally, that minister preached love and how what comes from the heart is what matters yet consistently criticised others for stupid reasons.

Guyana

Orel Roberts pleading for money because God said he needed a new jet.

"When the Bible says for women to be submissive to your husbands, that means if your husband tells you not to come to church, you submit to him & to God's command. If he tells you not to work, you submit (dramatic pause) to your husband's command & God's will. If your husband beats you, you submit yourself to your husband's demands & by doing so, you submit yourself to God's command as this is God's will."

I got tricked into going to a friend's Wed night youth group thing in Jr high. She said "hey want to eat pizza and watch a movie with me?" I was like sure! She goes "cool, it's at my church." Having never been a church goer internally I was like damnit! I tried to figure a way out and failed so I went. Pizza was fine, but the movie was total garbage propaganda. Four teen friends are driving around, having the time of their lives talking about how much they love each other and then they get in a wreck and all die. They end up in an elevator where they realize only one of them is going to heaven because he's been saved and accepted Jesus. The others are going to hell. If only we'd accepted Jesus they lamented. Even at that age I knew it was BS. Any god asshole enough to do that was not one I wanted anything to do with.

I have been an atheist since age 13.

When I was 15, a friend took me to her evangelical church. I was shocked.

People were shrieking, speaking in tongues and collapsing on the floor, where they thrashed and writhed with their eyes rolled up in their heads.

"These people are crazy," I thought, horrified.

"I'll wait outside," I told my friend and left.