SO...I SPOKE TO JESUS --

I am, if nothing else, usually open to try new things. I've been an atheist for many years, convinced of the non-existence of magic people in the sky but, hey, I can't prove it conclusively so there remains that 0.002% chance I could be wrong.

Bearing this in mind, I decided to give Jesus a shot at my soul and give me some demonstration of his reality. Seated on a chair outside where it was nice and quiet with only the chirping of the birds and the occasional aircraft passing over me, I asked the son of god to come into my heart and make me feel his love.

I prayed, "Okay, Jesus, do anything at all. Anything. It's your call, big guy. I'm wide open. Go!"

Nothing.

Apparently, I'm not good enough for Mr. "I Died for your Sins" because here I am, still an atheist, still not saved, still unloved, still awash in original sin.

So if we're wrong and I go to judgment and I'm told "Sinner, you didn't accept Jesus into your heart." I can call bullshit on god and point to this incident.

Yes, I outsmarted GOD.