I regard the connection between effort / intent and actual outcomes to be flaky at best. I'm 62 years of living proof. Stuff I didn't care too much or try too hard about ... Just Works. The stuff that's really important to me ... one clusterfuck after another. Kids? I've seen wonderful human beings come from abusive parents and demon seed come from loving, caring parents. I could go on and on.

Now ... I'm no one's victim. I'm not saying it doesn't matter at all what you do in life. And I'm not saying the alternative is "fate". I'm really just saying you and I are not entitled to ANYTHING and so have ANY expectations is a recipe for disappointment and despair. I don't know anyone who reaches my age whose life went remotely as they planned and expected it to.

There was this kid once who had dreams, hopes, aspirations, goals. And then life happened, and he figured out that it fell to him to adapt to life, not for life to adapt to him. That's really it in a nutshell. So crowing about how you're the master of your own fate feels good, but I wouldn't put much actual stock in it.

I don't think "fate" is a very good word to use as it implies some supernatural influence or force. Certainly we are at the mercy of the environment we live in. Chance or luck plays a large part in our lives. There is an ongoing debate about how much control we actually have over our lives. Some "experts" think we have very little and are at mercy of our genetic makeup whist others think we have the ability to do as we please. A sort of nature/nurture debate. I think the truth is actually somewhere in the middle and can vary greatly from person to person.