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If we were born with an hour glass filled with the exact amount of time we have to live how much differently would we live our lives? I think it would be very different. I know I would have never stayed in my marriage nearly as long. I wasted so many years messing around with shit I should have walked away from instantly. I think if I had that hour glass I would not have spent so much time in unhappy situations. Maybe it wouldn't change anything since I was aware of what I was doing when I chose to stay.

JesseBoren 7 July 17
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12 comments

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0

I'm not one to look back and regret.
But if I could go back and chang things I guess I'd change a 20 yr addiction. I'd hug my best buddy a little longer than I did the last time I saw him. He left me and wrecked his motorcycle. We were 22 yrs old.
I sit and listen to my Granny talk and pay attention.
I'd spend less time working to buy more shit and live a simpler life earlier.
But all and all I don't have a pity party about the crap I messed up or went wrong. I push on and live in the small Joy's of a simple everyday.

1

No difference. If you’ve been living a lie to yourself you are still around and can change it now. I’ve you need an hourglass mentality then construct one and give yourself 18 months to live. That should sort your disconnect out.

2

Sure you can look back and say you would have done it differently, but would we? Are we not products of our environment? I don't know if I would. I can only be me. I make choices based on experience and desires. Some of them are good, some aren't, and some where a hell of a good time! I've faced death more than my fair share. What I have learned from it is to not be so hard on myself, appreciate life, have fun, and enjoy the people in your life. I can't physically do the things I did before, but at least I did do a few things that were fun. Now I look for new opportunities and experiences to share with my loved ones. Isn't that really all you can ask out of life?

...well stated
Thanks

1

Because of religious reasons, I stayed in marriage for 11 years. Wife was addict and everyone was like gods will to stay with her. At 46, I had quadruple bypass from all the stress she caused me. I re-evaluated my whole life and concluded I was believing a bunch of shit. I divorced her and decided to try out other things beside church and am happy now.

0

Married twice. Stayed both times 10 yrs longer than I should have, so I understand.

Nothing to do with the post, but 'boy' I love your icon.

@Fernapple me too.

0

My first thought was - maybe I can figure out how to flip it.

0

No , i was highly motivated earlier in life.
I still am ,yet the priorities are different.
Mistakes early in life ,seem in hindsight,to be
part of learning and easier to correct.-making
major life changes comes with more consider
-ation. Spontiniety would also suffer i would think. Alot of people i know claim one regret
is they haven't PAID ATTENTION to the little voice( intuition) and followed thier instincts.
That lesson i somehow picked up on
early and kept alive-it serves me well today.
thanks

BBJong Level 7 July 17, 2019

I hope you can keep that attitude, I once had it. Life just works out better for some than others, you would do well to understand that before life teaches you otherwise. You may get lucky and it never happens but for most, it will.

@JesseBoren ,
most ppl can never accept that our existence is governed by chaos & luck.

@JesseBoren like being a orphan at 9; i can
create my luck pal!!!

2

I think I will not change bad experiences from my past life because these life experiences made me strong and be awake about my expectations of how I want to live my mature life.

I used to say that but no longer. There is much I would change. No way I would choose to be who I am or go through what I've been through if I had a choice.

@JesseBoren , I understand your point of view. But if I focus on the "What if I had ....." I just hurting myself. At the present time I have a lot of choices and because of the past bad experiences . I take them as learned lessons. If I didn't make mistakes and had bad experiences is like I didn't learned anything in this life.

@maturin1919 , Ok, thanks for sharing your opinion. This is my way to seeing how long my future will last. To have a better present I have to have a past with good or bad experiences. To improve my future I have to analyze my past to stop me from repeating the same bad experiences. Unfortunately, I do not have super powers. My future is going to end or last until the last breath of my life is over.

@maturin1919 Oh well, Ok. Then I will not change anything. Thanks.

1

That's a good question. If most people were as careful with their time as they are with their money, their lives would probably be a lot more fulfilling, with much less wasted time. I wouldn't have stayed in my marriage for 26 years, but at the time, I dudn't notice the years slipping by.

0

This is a scary thought imho

Edu_0 Level 4 July 17, 2019
4

My brother was given less than 6 months to live, when his brain tumor was diagnosed. Except for his treatments, he didn’t change much about how he lived, he just kept going. He lived three years.

You just never know. I don’t think I’d change anything if I could; what I’ve experienced and survived have made me who I am. I just do the best I can every day. That might sound trite, but hindsight really is 20/20.

1

We all know we have only a certain amount of time...even those who know a more exact time do not change what they normally do...we have all heard the platitudes...I would have quit my job, left my bad marriage, traveled more, blah blah blah...probably not...either because you couldn't for a number of reasons: money, time, emotions, etc. or you didn't for a number of reasons: money, time, emotions, etc. It is all the same...couldn't or didn't...all in the past.

Knowing what you know now, are you going to change things and not repeat them? Are you going to start fresh and start living on borrowed time? Easier said than done, but go for it...

We live our lives as though tomorrow is guaranteed. I used to go around saying I wouldn't change anything because I needed to go through it to be who I am but I no longer say such things. I have much I would love to go back and change now. I have a lot more information now I didn't have when I made certain decisions. Knowing what I know now it was a bad decision but it seemed like the right thing at the time. That decision will cost not only me but everyone I love the most for the rest of our lives. I get to watch that damage ripple through their lives for the rest of mine. We can dream of starting fresh but we humans will carry the weight of our past with us until we die. The past affects our future just as our future changes our past. For us, there is no clean start over ever in reality. The past has taken the will to go on away, I keep waiting for time to fix it but it's not happening. I study self-help, Zen, and psychology for over 3 decades so I have all the tools to process it all, let it go, and move on crap I made apart of my life. None of that stuff can save you from the blows life throws at you though, it's only about dealing with the afterward part. I just found sometimes the blows inflict such injuries it's hard to want to go on. I've been in that spot for a long time now.

@JesseBoren ,
if i could repeat my life with do-overs i would, otherwise i would not.
we all Fck up & with the benefit of time we can see how we & others would have been so much better off if we hadn't made bad decisions.

@JesseBoren I am sorry for your troubles. I hope you find a way to reconcile what has happened...maybe all you need is time...time does blur even the worst of pain, anger, hate, etc.

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