I have had an amazing day! It is one of those days that you wake up and it is crystal clear that you have discovered something that changed your life and you suddenly know how to appreciate it!
I have notice that so many people over my life and all around me now...just go over and over their stories with words that describe the issues, but that is where it stops! They hardly ever ponder why this or that is happening and surely not how it could be made better! I will interject ideas about the matter and they appear like a ‘dear in headlights!’ In the past I would caution myself on putting things into people heads that they can’t understand! And, why/where did I get the information that I tried on them anyway? And today, it is clear as the blue sky! I am a thinker...and I was taught how to think better and clearer about my life and everything else under the sun! I don’t need background noise of any kind playing...I don’t need the tv on so I will feel less alone! I want be playing loud music when I am in conversation with people! I want to focus on what they are saying, so that I can respond with at least good sense! I have never done small talk good...even in small doses! Words mean something and I don’t want to waste them! So now I see, why people say that I am so strong and smart...I can think clearly most of the time! And if I get off in the ‘weeds,’...I WILL get myself back on track, ASAP! I have no fear of my thinking or my thoughts! This feels like my real home! This is one of the reasons our culture is out of whack...too much noise, entrainment, music and wasted words distracting us from our ‘real selves!’ No wonder so many people are mortified at their own thoughts! Thinking is an art and everyone can be taught the art of thinking ‘correctly’...I know I was! (And I once was the person that went over the details...many many times, with no solutions!) I am so grateful...so grateful! Has anyone else had this experience?
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Such a wise and wonderful post Ruth. I agree with you about thinking being an art form. I've noticed that since I lost Richard last year that I've had to step up and take charge of things like never before. I had to really clear my mind of my fear of being alone now, and I did it. I said to myself, "Rhonda, you were on your own handling everything in your life by yourself before you met Richard and you are a strong and smart woman. You can do this." I've had quite a few moments in the past year where I realized that I was, as you say, "thinking correctly" and figuring things out on my own. It has empowered me to make plans to travel by myself and get back out there in the world. I'm in agreement to about the "too much noise, entertainment, music and wasted words distracting us from our real selves." Looking forward to meeting you!
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Aug 11, 2019
0
Me too! I think there is something to that celebrating with ourselves when we work out things...it is empowering! We need to be our own cheerleader, as it seems most people are in their own world or in overload! They have little time for us to explain where we have been and need to go...it’s the times!
I've known several friends who rehashed their problems and difficulties with other people a lot. I've tried to help, mostly by saying that talking about negative experiences of people from one's past doesn't leave the present moment open for enjoyment and creative sharing with new friends. I didn't receive positive responses. Due to that, I've thought that some people don't don't have any affinity for emotional self control or for cognitive behavioral process--a therapy they can perform on themselves. At some point, I eliminated talking about my own problems with people, except a clinical psychologist. During that therapy, I began to think that by talking about or exhibiting my emotional issues with others, I was being aggressive and demanding toward them. I began to think more about handling my own emotional/mental issues in the mature way I had learned from studying psychology. I handled my own issues in order to experience the dignity of exercising self control. Sometimes in difficult personal times, it helps to talk to a professional again, and to feel that empathy from someone else, who is paid to listen and comment constructively. When going through hard times, it might be difficult to feel empathy or love for oneself.
AnonySchmoose
Level 8
Aug 11, 2019
3
Yes...I’m glad you have come to this realisation. I knew long ago that I wasn’t like most of the people around me...even close friends, like you I’m happy with my own thoughts ...and company too. I’m also gregarious too though, and when I feel like company and choose to socialise I’m comfortable doing that too. Unlike you, I don’t mind small talk with certain people who I realise don’t have the mental capacity for anything more meaningful, but not too much of it, and nothing too banal. We are critical thinkers, and like me you are interested in knowing what is really happening in the world, and try to find out why, not just taking heresay for fact. I do wonder at what passes for thought with some people as they appear to be so gullible and believe because others tell them it is so. You are definitely not alone here on Agnostics, there are many of us with similar mindsets, probably because we have naturally enquiring minds laced with a large dash of skepticism.
Marionville
Level 10
Aug 11, 2019
4
Sounds lovely! Haven't had exactly that.
itsmedammit
Level 8
Aug 11, 2019
0
@Allamanda What I haven't got was the jubilation @Freedompath seems to be having. The rest seems normal.
@itsmedammit ...from my realization on my ‘thinking’ this early morning, I was emailing an old friend and we were talking about how much harder it is to do all the things without a man’s hands! I am doing it, but it is difficult and yesterday my neighbor wanted to hang out today to help distract her from her pain issue and I had to tell her that I was feeling halfway decent myself...so I must take care of some much needed hard projects! She told me she had her brother to do those things! Lol. So today, when I am emailing my friend...I am also reporting that one of my sons passed out at his dad’s house and got a concussion...he had been loading up all the gear for grown son//girlfriend, daughter/husband and my daughter-in-law, for their vacation! That family thinks that is what my son’s job is for his family! Lol. And out of no where came my thoughts of anger...when my children were small and I did all the work, when we went on vacation! I couldn’t delegate the work, that would need more energy than I had to expend! And their father thought providing the money was his only responsibility! And was stingy with that, I often times worked part time to have extra money! So he never helped me with children or around the house! Hell, I painted the house, etc! I have not felt or thought about ‘this past’ in years, but what came out was how angry I was at myself...that I did not leave their father for 17 yrs..,mostly because I had been indoctrinated with that good old time religion, ‘that what god had joined together, let no man put assunder!’ So I was made a prisoner to my own mistake of choosing a person totally unsuitable for me! After all that ‘feeling,’ and me clearly seeing how I had felt trapped and hurting...all the hurt and anger came up in it’s ‘raw form,’ and I experienced it as it should have been when I was hurting back in ignorance with no relief! That was 49 yrs ago! I feel free as a breeze, light as a feather, now! Lol. I have had these processes happen many times and I always feel like I have more of myself, afterwards! I hope this shed a little more light on my ‘thinking,’ idea!
My age helps...I have many more years ahead of you to learn these things! Ha ha ha
@Freedompath I have looked back on some of my life with regret and have some anger at myself for the choices I had made. I think I understand your thinking a little better now, and look forward with a bit more hope for myself.
@itsmedammit oh there is plenty of hope...we are ‘recovered’ by bits and pieces, if ‘it’ all came to us at once we would go insane! Everytime you locate a part of your authentic self, you will have more to work with...celebrate it! You will notice how much clearer that you feel about everything at that time...and this has a cumulative effect. Just take yourself seriously, regardless of who around you can’t do that! Make your minutes count at least to you...you owe no one anything but an authentic person before them! At least that is what I know now!
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