I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE!

Recently, I visited my dentist to have an old filling replaced. While cooling my heels in the waiting room, I noted that not one, but two, Bibles had been placed there by The Gideons. This displeased me no end.

As I left the office later that morning, I made sure no one was looking, and I snitched the books and later deposited them in a nearby dumpster. In truth, this is not the first time I've done this kind of thing. When I worked in the public schools in rural Maryland, some Christian jackass put a Bible in the teacher's rest room. I stole that one, too. Oh, and I also lift them from motel rooms.

What should my penance be?