I would throw the essentials in the car and head for Cali were it not on fire. The kids are there with the 2 grandkids, and they are on the evacuate border. I'm too ill to be much help. They have a cat , which I'm deathly allergic to. I could BBQ the cat but that might not be helpful.

@ForTheBirds it might not be tasty either...do you have someone helping you?

@Bigwavedave The French and the Chinese eat cats. There is a recipe somewhere. But how do I get all that hair off first? I'm joking. I used to sit on the back porch and watch my grandfather skin rabbits. My Paternal Grandparents had a working farm. I can start with a live chicken at 7AM and have it on the table by " Dinner", a meal served at noon at my Grandparents house. "Supper" was served at 6PM. I wonder when that changed? Was it regional ? My Maternal Grandmother ( born in 1905 ) told me that on Sunday there was a more fancy Dinner after church. In those days before screens on windows or refrigerators for common people, the table was covered by another table cloth & removed at suppertime. Nobody died of food poisoning in a 10 kids plus company family. Go figure? 8 people are sick and one dead this week from bacterial contamination with all our antibiotics and refrigerators.

I picked up the CD's from the Radiology Center to take with me to Shands.

Normally don't just mild sedation at the most

@bobwjr I know - I'm recommending full on "OUT COLD". I've no idea why some of the most painful things in the world are now done while people are Awake?

Seems we treat pets better than that FFS.

It really bothers me. And it goes to treating humans like inanimate objects instead of humans.

We have that technology now. Why the heck can't they be bothered to use it? IDK.

@RavenCT they can do sedation

@bobwjr Over the course of my life the men that lied to me the most were OB/GYN Docs. "Just a little pinch", then grab a corner of my cervix with an instrument that looks much like the tool men used to use to move around bales of hay, but smaller. They know it hurts, but not more than you can stand. I had 3 babies silently, but one shit of a doc made me scream for 20 seconds. He stopped just as I thought of kicking him in the head. Pity I didn't.

@bobwjr In nursing school doing my rotation at VA hospital I assisted a Doc with a bedside liver Bx. No sedation, just a little local lidocaine. The Doc poked around 5 spots as the old Vet screamed. I understand they now use sonogram to guide the biopsy needle, but for all I know they still do not sedate. When they do sedate, it's mostly to make you hold still.

@ForTheBirds I discovered if you refuse something based on pain incurred it is possible to negotiate being knocked out. But it sure doesn't happen often.
I know of one women who did that for a procedure I had done fully awake.
(Women do a shit ton of not screaming ... Maybe we should start again?).

I think pointing out the degree of pain to the Dr is reasonable - what they choose to do? May not be.

I want real life. I want the partying and music and dancing and fun friends I had before cancer. I want no part of a wheelchair or walker in a nursing home. That is not living. I plan to pass on that when the time comes. Who decides what time that will be? Whenever I say so, I don't give a rats ass what others think. And as for the will of god? What god ? I own me. The decision is mine.

@ForTheBirds I agree with you. (To a point). I had cancer and I am disabled and have been since 2001. I may not go out dancing - but neither is my life stopped. (I imagine that's different for everyone).

There are Death with Dignity laws in some States already.
Do you know what they are in your State?

It would be worth investigating.

@RavenCT It's how it is for you. You are the owner of you, so the decision is yours. Don't let the ownership of you fall into the hands of someone else. When I was just out of nursing school I took a Private Duty job with a woman in the process of dying of cancer (1975) . It was the weekend, so her regular Doc was off and another Doc was covering his call. I told that Doc that she was crying half an hour before she could have more MSO4. He wrote an order to increase her dose, but decreased it by accident. 3 hours later she was shivering and crying. I checked the MAR and found the error. The floor staff was unwilling to call the Doc, they didn't want to be yelled at. I said okay " You dial, I'll talk." He didn't yell, he upped her dose and asked that her regular Doc not be informed of his error. Do what YOU will. Be sure that the person caring for you has some NUTS. Look into a 5 page legal DNR document. It may come in handy eventually. And by all means, enjoy what you have. I'm happy that you have the grace to appreciate it.

@ForTheBirds You bet I know.
I've cared for people with end stage cancer - up close.
I know what my choice will be if I'm ever in that kind of pain. I don't have religion stopping me.

However I meant you might find a Doctor that would be helpful if you face something like that - if you're in the right state. They can simply write you a prescription.

Right now I believe there are many Doctors who help people by letting them have pain pumps they control when they reach that point - the heavy sedation plus a body that just doesn't work right is often a tipping point. But I've seen people get down to skeletal proportions when they are strong willed and don't want to die. (Or when nature is simply perverse).
I'm not up for that myself. (Personally).

Shands is a great hospital. I am not willing to suffer more to satisfy their curiosity, or add to knowledge that might help someone else someday. Fuck someone else. You understood the statement that regardless of the diagnosis, there is no treatment for any of them ?

I'm sorry this is upsetting for you. I like to believe their is always hope. Sometimes you have to look for it. I hope you find a way to find a cure. @ForTheBirds

@nicknotes Hope is one of those tricky words. It implies your attitude will influence outcome. Nope. I've been present at the door of life at births and at the door of death too many times to count. Every one who is born must die. You have your day in the sun, and then move on so the next generation can have their turn. Nothing wrong with that. Imagine if there was no death and Hitler, Mussolini and the Nips were still on the loose? Accept that you are going to step into the cycle of birth, death and rebirth. That's just my favorite story. Make one up as your own if you like. Who knows ? I really miss Dr Who.

I suppose we all like to imagine we will live forever....but we know that one day we will die. However, I think that with a positive attitude the body's systems will fight harder to keep the body alive longer. Hope often produces a positive attitude. @ForTheBirds

@nicknotes I'm a nurse. I know up close and personal that everyone dies. I'm not afraid of dying and have no need to make up a God story. My atoms will disburse into the galaxy from which the elements I'm made of came from.

@ForTheBirds yep they will.

@Bigwavedave Such a relief. The possibility of eternity with my Mother is what blew me off Christianity in the first place.

Markers that will rule out some disorders, and point to others. No matter what they find, there will be nothing they can do about treating it. The outcome will be exactly the same.

@ForTheBirds I'm sorry, but I don't know what ails you. Maybe there are treatments they don't know about or are still considered experimental.